Spider Web

Spider Web

There’s a balance somewhere of wanting

To know the simple of love

Like a backdrop on an anonymous voyeur to all these days 

As if you could be a still aside to every inch of this lonely

The vagabond double life I dream exists

An accoutrement of hope like a droplet antidote

To all those high school photographs where smiling

Felt like a conundrum of locks in a social shoe box

Of letters to a junior high me who lied to himself

About a phantom co-assassin pinning his arms back

In his first ass kicking teeth nudging denture prompting charade

With inactive arms just taking the brunt of it for some misguided Christian motive

An agnostic liver of days with faith in little

But a religion of immutability stacking up like

Alphabet block pre school explanations to a juvenile mind

Keeping with the program of a simplistic void in easily spelled four letter words

Of needing to go out more and social inadequacies like a parade

Of bureaucrats in a federation of the mundane flour coated acceptance

Of what is and will be of no drugs, no companions, no counterparts

And no explanations outside this self, this tyrannical demon

Of self exploration and analysis like a thrashing gorger

With a gaping maw of overabundant turbine teeth churning

That will just never stop devouring the silences

That could allow for a stagnant id and an evolving world

To transpose existences in a make believe game of doing

Of getting out and mastering social expertise

Of vagabond children with parents who are too busy to notice 

There is no answer coming from the other room

Self-parenting over load grown three decades beloved

Sliver of hope that you exist in that droplet  

I could dream of that droplet like prism water caught in a spider web

And one day you may devour me from this world like a miraculous black widow

And consume all I have ever known