Sweetness

Sweetness

For as much sincerity as you may intend to convey

Please do not call me sweet

My actions and motivations are in fact genuine and honest

And fit all the characteristics of that word

But the flip side of its limitations is a death knell

Into the imprisonment of friendship of dispassionate kisses

And distance that I fear contemplating feeling

There are large parts of me that want to care for you

To find a bastion of kindness in your embrace

However the animal side of these fences

Can not survive with being relinquished into an afterthought

If there is an uncertainty in you to put me off into that pasture

Of bland than please tell me now, so that I can stop wanting you

Because this in me is not under my jurisdiction of control

It is inherently organic and jarring

To want to bust down these barriers, lay it down

Into a forefront of discussion and erase these uncertainties

My compass is under repair

And traveling and waiting on the arraignments of your discretion

Is like water torture in the rivers of silences

My doubt is like a demagnetizing dissonance to navigation

Oxidized in years of deceit and failed attempts to which you

Were never a party to, yet in my humanity recall

Into the possibilities of what you have yet to say aloud

I need a greater sign, a symbol, a flare

Of why you are here, motivated from an internal genesis

To stabilize this tool of north and south

And these overtures dripping in your marked sugar and honey

Are like lightning strikes bordering between true appreciation

And reluctance to tell me a greater truth of what you wish I would not have done

To make it easier for you to walk away

And this insecurity I will wrap up and never tell you

I will ball it up and fester until dissolved by a truth revealed

Waiting like acid on my tongue burning in an indeterminate exile

With a taste anything, but sweet