Eating Alone

Eating Alone

I look at myself and eat alone

Consuming the meal presented before

Everyone plated in the ordinary and miniscule

Accepted the unseasoned medley as a basis of standard fare

Of menu’s predetermined and printed on a repeating cycle

To see this censured fourteen year old face static to a flag pole

Five-feet nothing off the ground stump

The sophomores keep passing and I look up and the world

Looks down as if I will never be a man

My age like an inverted mathematic discounted

For all my experiences seemingly spent eighty-five percent alone

Wallowing in this irrelevant nonsense

Never ever connecting looking like a pubescent nightstand

Observing with empty drawers begging for deposits

Cavernous with an acknowledged plateau

Weeping that there is no input or wild horse running

Vapid pursuit forgotten years ago in the recognition of scores

Spun irrelevant for the one hope that there was her

With tangible clarity to grasp me like a lightning jolt,

The façade itches in an eerie laughter that I could hope to

Barter for faith in my own worth and ask her for permission

To breathe and exhale without censure

Knowing that she has smashed me to the ground like porcelain

Into bits wandering in this scattered sand