Album Atrocities

Album Atrocities

When I look at wedding pictures it makes me nauseous

How masculine is that reaction like some sort of commitment-phobic man

With a virus of the anti joy of every little Cinderella girl for this mogwai boy

Mutated into a gremlin  

Strangling every hope of marital joy with a switch knife

Stuck plug in the gut, squeal pig as she slips off the porch

Silence expands like the first bullets in a bloody war

Am I dead no, alive is worse, no sense of pretending so

Extract this body’s core, I was a poet once

Use to write of love and adore like an emotional juggernaut of discourse

Of all the ways she and I ought to be together in a romantic exchange

Despite the hurricanes and building booms I didn’t see the tremors

Shaking from outside the living room

Lies like a battle cry, all the memories are tainted and I can’t get out of

Living this life wasted on a bad taste, of feeding tube excrement truth paste

Suck it up and believe what you will, life isn’t moving and I am through

I can’t find the inner for the outer or the outer for the sinner for the doubter

Dance at a wedding and raise a glass, if it ever happened again

I think I would ask to get eloped just a her hard to imagine on a tangential ski slope

Of some remote location where I don’t have to cope with the boomerang emotions

Of all the same faces in a divergent diagram I am so afraid

And not knowing you I don’t know if I can make the belief that you would believe in me

No one has ever fought to forgive my mistakes to cross this line and have a love break

Upon my will to love me that much and all of this is mistaken in the arms of a crutch

Of what was, water needing to be bailed, a check needing to be voided and a ship that should sail

Of into a nation of rocks and conundrum thoughts that have to be stopped

Not attempted to be solved just bomb the damn crowd, explode the mainframe

Stop the complaining, end the infection, chemotherapy for the fear of commitment nation

Of one standing here knowing I am infected, melodically dense that there is no recompense

For my disaster just suicide me in the night with a blanket answer smothering this face

Fire is burning and no one is attending just a circus side show tarp flung over the head

Of a man that should be flung over the edge of reason into a spring canyon of seasons

To get back on the saddle and peruse over the cattle, but no

There is no answer and easier to give up, to wrap the rope and lynch this love