Things I do not understand about God

Things I do not understand about God

God, why can’t we evolve away our toe and finger nails?

Are we going to need claws in the future to tear each other apart?

At the seams, at the jugular gripping and shredding and blood letting

Us scrape away the coverings of what keeps us so preciously human

God, why are you so concerned with the gifts I give to you?

What parent is like that, certainly not mine or my self to my daughter?

All I ever wanted was my child to have independent joys

Not to sit in a box employed at ingratiating me with her gratitude

For simply retaining the ability to exist

As if existence in and of itself as the opportunity provided is an equitable gift

These scars and these bars and these blessings and stars crossed for individual sums

To be stacked up and counted some how recount an appreciation mandated to be

Professed on schedule to you

I can’t believe you want or need that, maybe we were never intended to be your door mats

To swipe those zero atom feet on, a pawn shop love we put up and turned in

For some quick cash sacrament to feel good about the other things we want to do

When we wish to ignore you and get back in your graces

Or what if we just obey and stay within the fences we built for our selves

That you never intended to tell the world were so important, just the logistics

Of a prerecorded argument up for debate in this sand desert maze

Keeping the hell out of people spun like cotton candy lies so easily shredded

In the vices of drugs, sex and lies and all the alibis’ of being too shy

To say what we want or say being good is good enough that we have to feel obligated

To thank you or some where inside we will be taken in the night to a fiery plight

Why do you even want or need my prayers? 

Am I just checking it to retain the right to climb up those stairs to your heaven?

With these useless toe nails gripping impediments to my morality to deviate from the nexus

I get it, I get it, I love with a love that is not a transient derelict occasionally bludgeoning strangers with hateful sentiments.

I am a consistent father and you are too, but in all this confusion life demands that I feel guilty that I will never praise you enough for this opportunity and in my heart I think you just want us to live after we have remained plugged in. 

All these stories and lectures they all seem to be so much conjecture

Please clarify these times, so peacefully and maybe you have with in me.