Bookstore Contemplations

Bookstore Contemplations

Bearing inside me fixated on the true cross

In your red hairs, why would Jesus argue against us?

Bares the scars of these laws enraged engulfed inside the love

Securing the bolts on the machine that bled inside

To hold me to tell me to pray me into your self

To thank this God that I was like a book on a shelf

For you to pull down, scribe out the lines

Make them your own

In a scattering life running from the hints of

Enrapture the story past the preface and into chapter five

Wandering restless put this copy back with the rest

Walk out Borders without making a purchase

Just leave the story unfinished with the mystery diminished

To an assumption passed the man I was and the man that I am

The man that you need and the heart that bleeds

Inside your head arguing with the life you’ve led

Wanting you to fall, to let your guard down and expound

On that feeling that beats inside your chest like all the chapters you’ve left

Up on that shelf, sitting in that store for some other woman to pick up and purchase

To lay that cash down and bag up out the door

I look at you and ponder, are you really so sure of the order?

This track you are on, this bond you are making

Or are you taking this time for a boat for a sailing

Round and round to another island only to come back to the same town

And I can not stay here on this pine wood stack

I have got to keep writing the lines to the track of the next album

The next iteration to this chain of events and I see you in the stance

Of this half purchaser, this woman afraid to go all in

To lay down the risk of falling in love, to give me your heart

And not yank it back when you get nervous of repeating mistakes

That were not your mistakes and I wonder what is the problem with taking a risk on love?

All these allergies will not let you be and in the implications

I can tell myself that you are not right for me, but there is a component in my being

That wants to rip that out from you to talk about how much you really want to be a mother and why like a floating conundrum and in that iteration my situation is so fraught

With circumstances that populate tribulations in manifestations of what the

Life of these two Caucasians could some how start our own little nation

Set aside the lines and crimes and you have told me, no a thousand times

And I look at you and try to get us demagnetized and you call me and stall me

Up on this shelf in your hand, you pick me back up and you put me back down

And I can’t help but feel that you don’t know which way you want to put your feet to the ground

To the check out clerk or out the front door, haven’t we been through this debate before

What life you want is a mystery and I need you to decide,

I know I can not take this swapping out of this place in our lives

From just another guy, from just friends on a bench,

To phone calls where you contemplate the amends

To the sentences it would take for us to make sense

I don’t really care what your profession is as long as you can be at peace

Knowing I am the constant and the rest of these waves can wash the beach

I need to know that you love me, that I can be your Christ

That I could be like the star you follow when you get lost in these nights

The true north centered in what you feel God has placed in your life

That I come closer to that any man you can imagine and am worth it to you

To find faith to grow with me even when it hurts to stretch trust out like

An expanding balloon to put more into, because I want you to be that woman

That chooses me, I want to take your hand in mine and say this is the life

I have to offer, this is my stead, this is my love and the path I have led

No it is not perfect, but it is honest and scarred and bleeding for you to take up your arms

And open them for me, grab me in hold and

Stake a claim to what you want in this life and be bold

Write your name in this cover and give me your feelings, give me your doubts

I just need God, love, and you and erase all this other shit out

I don’t care about your parents, Nicaragua, or the doubts

Of your placement in line to get here to the route

Of you and me and this vagabond love

Wandering and soaking in the pink paints on the run

Don’t tell me your heart is dry or you wouldn’t be calling

You wouldn’t be contemplating all this and stalling

Just walking away, just pulling the plug

I know in you is this smashed-down love

I feel like we sacrificed to give us a chance and

I feel like you pushed me away when you got scared and ran

You wanted me closer, to see me everyday and instead of reaching out to me

You got enraged

What do you want from me?

Every time I see you walk in this store I just need to see you as another passer by

Another would-be customer that will disincline. I need to carry on without the alarms

In or you’re out, profess a desire to want us to share a love immune to the static or the transitory natures of that which is and will be.  What do you want from me?