Self in Love

Self in Love

Reaching in and out and through and stout

Love of self in the absolute roustabout

To filch this depressive filth from coating my innards

Which have clenched in svelte rogue maneuvers

To dodge my every endeavor to thwart their penchant

For bleeding me in swell to ball up and play games

With their hell, I am this man standing and planning

And building this life grand impaling myself

Upon this stage however arranged I am here

And no one else is to blame or cross

Or fetch for an explanation to refrain that tomorrow

Can not be the name that I name

Love of self in priority if no one else is here than I will love me

Vehement and unrelenting for every absence

I am present and I will love in absolute to know I am alive

It is no longer about a you or a who or a why

I am my own whipping boy and I run the rules of this stage

I have assets I have stones and I will use them to build

Rather than knock over both our homes

Stipends for crying and mine have exhausted

Stipends for standing and mine have run out

Time is moving and I am alive not for tomorrow but for these nights

I can write and sing and stare and be and love and care

And if all there is, are these walls bleeding and bending and reading and

Stinting out like a heart valve on periodic assisted persistence

Then I give me all I have for the music of these moments

I will take Nietzsche’s bargain with joy, I will write the end of these lines

I will not allow what I can control to be defined by what I can not

And in these thoughts I will plot a love to grow and love to foster love

If only in self