Lotus

Lotus

Static shock and blocked direction locked to this spot

You are not my answer, you are not my messiah

You are just another candle floating on an un-tethered lotus upon these waters

Moving in the currents and colliding and residing

Back in a divergent direction and the loneliness creeps back

With a purified strain in its allocation to my blood stream

The immunity of that bliss has passed wanting to believe

There was a sail on this mast

Aimless and godless, where is your power? Where is your concern?

Why would you care?  Why would you love? Are you selfish?

Are you even a self?  Truth like a backpack and the bottom has fallen out.

Trying not to give up, wanting a reason to fill that glass

The longer I stick around the closer to the ground

Conscious thought fogs in, that this is all there is

Planets and celestial all the same there as heaven, as hell

Apathy drenching and all the faces keep on pelting

The difference between love and sex and

In the splinters I have nothing left

All these fingers have left me numb and I have none

On either side of that divide of you or I

The lotus floats and rows and there the petal stows

The seeds of hallucinogenic means grasping at the straws of incomplete

Too short to reach the liquid edge of where the solid meets the dredge

Of filaments beneath the parts of speech I wish you would bequeath

To me like parting gifts to describe the life we could have lived

In a parallel life in a parallel time, where you were more certain

And I was caked in so much less grime, all around this drifting stint

Wanting to pray and feeling limp

To know the purpose pure of penitent or recusant

Redemption, supplication, to bow down with the whole costumed nation 

Naked emperor in China’s agnostic fervor call out and fall out

To the mystery tree in Singapore, Peter rock solid and hop scotch to Holland

Van Gogh obsessing with asceticism in letters to Theo and let it go

To binge anew and the silence swirls the absence like a magnetic butterfly

Drawing in and in the end, the lotus rows and there she goes

Blinking out of focus like a shutter fly, and where did I?  where did I?

Fulfill the task, do the good, traverse the maze and there the center stood

Like the golden fleece on the inner oak for Ares waiting for the Argonauts

Finding redemption and damnation in the same grasp, how do I distinguish the two?

How do I ask?