Vision of What Will

Vision of What Will

I had big fish dreams once

Stories about what will be and would be done

Like gargantuan whale shark tails swishing liquid walls

To crumble in bubble granite devastation in their wake

My aspirations were mighty and irrefutably magnanimous

In the net of preparation and on the preface of expectation

To actually do anything about them

Time was full like a pitcher on a window sill high in iced tea

Lemon pinched and sugar swollen ready to be drunk

The rungs of the ladder enumerated in an escalating sequence to be counted

And desperation and disappointment were lurking like

Post apocalyptic scavengers in a desert wasteland

Waiting to spear me with their realism points

Brash and cock strong too numbed and pronged

On the tip like a bull frog on a swamp rouge trident

An imitation weapon of the troglodyte nonchalant

Yet deadly and grasping at this bastard hope of wanting

In a boomerang consideration that one day this yearn

Will come on back, yet flumped and trumped by indigestion

Flayed rungs splintered and torn with the complacent virus  

Of accepting that which is for what will inevitably be

A choice for all choices and lethargy towards mutability

Decision trees of barren fruit rotting and carved of options

Like ransacked post-war shanties, hope is a vagrant abandoned

Maybe there is more than this as I wait out these dozen more years

But the cloud of this brackish fog permeates my vision

Clogs my breathing and suffocates my will to pray honestly for greater than

I meditate on the grail of passive acceptance to let this weather pattern be

Rather than blow with these lips for it to lift or to curse its texture

As a subtext to every scent on my clothing, every backdrop to my home

Every point of reference for every neighbor I encounter

I ask you God to liberate me from this prison as if

Mandela could take my hand into this mythical justice and set it aside

For later years and live in the beauty of this Frankyl suffering now and own it

Like a champion medal, let me be for all that could be