Monday, June 11, 2012

Effigy on the Bridge



Effigy on the Bridge

I am as frustrated as all fuck
A man on a bridge clubbed in the head and pushed off
White skin stained and scraped and red shed and raped
Out in the middle of the thoroughfare

I don’t even know the fuck where to begin?
Or to end this ransom for my pain
How much do I have to pay to have someone take this all away?
Maybe a drink or maybe a smoke or maybe some offshoot

However remote in a path I never imagined I could try
I will be hating you for Christmas every year
Until something changes, my wish for your unhappiness and for me
To get the fuck out of here

Like an anchor on my ankles and a break upon my deepest thoughts
I am in every way lost, I want to forgive you and forget this
Get in a car and never see this endless list
Of images that remind me of you the person I wish was on this bridge

Instead of me and I could hang the image of our memories in effigy
I don’t wish you hurt, I just wish one of us gone, I wish I owned my own life
And the location of my front and back lawns were approximate to a better taste
A better colored flavor to a more adaptable place

Because no where feels like home and everywhere feels like a palindrome
 Madam I’m Adam I’ve been gone for so long wandering in this fire swamp
Buttercup when are you going to show up?  This pirate is lost at sea
In this vagabond utopia for my nemesis in a counter-proposal to my consciousness

I don’t know where I would go in stead, but the bravery to barter for my soul
Bleed into my head like a rampant thought to survive on my own in this world
Knowing life is over here, none of this is worth it and you have pushed me to the brink
Of getting everything you ever wanted if only I were to leave

The only thing you can not control is how I suffer here and I will bear it in silence
And swell it well with a blues guitar man singing in a bar in my soul
Shrieking out prayers to a God I don’t believe in for a hope I have abandoned
Screaming in silence for a phantom savior hoping I can and at least break the numbness when I bleed

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