One day I will
give myself permission to be happy again,
But not today,
not with these views, not with this chest
I choose empty,
because putting anything in just complicates the numb
Soak in the
oblivion cuddling with the one
Day at a time,
seeing not even tomorrow, just a line
If I get there,
I’ll see about it then
Hidden in the
sunlight, rather resonate than speak
Vibrate faint in
the radiant, frozen to death on an open street
Crossing guards,
Blockbuster is closed, no more rentals
Mortgage is due
on the cold, have to pay the winter man
Knocking at the
door, borrowed time from the time, from the time before
Jesus don’t want
me, devil don’t care
Looking at a dust
mite, see if he’ll stare
Target focus,
lost in the haze
Remember when
weekends were open days
Absolution from
work, opportunity to be exactly what I wanted
All I want now is
an envelope to crawl inside, mail me away
Stamp the
illusion of an introvert’s escape
Lose me with the
parcels, trample me under boxes
Free market
brown, never deliver just a vagabond of consciousness
Maybe one day I
will get back to this, but for now give me pause
Give me a
vacation from depression, from analytics or confessions
Set me to Santa,
bring me to Wal-Mart set me on a shelf way in the back
Where I will
never get held, I want to blend like a can of tomato soup
Air tight, like
in utero of metallic canning, sluiced up into a compartmentalized standing
As not quite
living, not quite dead, just not this and no more disasters
Where I have to
ask for someone else to forgive
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