Out of Oz

Out of Oz

I just wanted you to know, because maybe you do not

Maybe you are oblivious or shielding yourself, maybe you forgot

But you destroyed a human being  

As far as human interactions go

The arms, the skin, the looks, I might appear to be standing

But I am not, I am devastated from functioning properly 

I had expectations back then, at least for a time

You crushed a man, pummeled, dented face

Socket bones crackled, swollen and left for dead  

Vulture meat, carcass carrion and the go-about

The re-marriage, the old-house, the child

Your new baby like a balloon out of Oz 

I am stuck here dented in tin,

Hollow metallic chest echoes

Remembering the shoes left in the closet  

The challenge was set in the absence

Of what the fuck did I do,

So wrong, so offending, so extreme, so unrelenting 

Perpetual chase for unspeakable answers

The obvious and the ethereal

Sunday mornings and no Jesus in the steeple  

All the women, they all feel like taint

Cold rapscallions bent on chastising my existence

Repudiating the fact pattern since my entrance  

To intersect, to attempt to divest

This vampire out my chest

Exchange the hollow for a swallow  

Of medicine in an attempt to ever love again

Preposterous, destroyed a man, never wants to try

Just give me the numb, it is what I wanted to begin with  

Dirty secret, if not for you, I would have had my beautiful oblivion

Out there so gloriously alone, paired with my loneliness,

Dancing in a scandalous affair, just her and I and not you 

Time to myself, fungus in the cave, forget the consequences, Get to be a nothing