I do not
understand how any adult can participate in the activities of
Hoping, praying
or Dreaming, On a practical basis
Investing in any
such festival is by definition a dalliance away
Into the level of
the childish
As one is
investing energy into another solving ones problems or curing ones ills
Such reliance is
every way segregated from everything life has ever shown me as real
Parents do for
children, based on narcissistic indulgence
To perpetuate
oneself or to be loved
One can measure
these pursuits as fueled energies
Of dopamine or
serotonin in a neurological enterprise
As when one is
happy, one can fool oneself into believing
In a God, another
human or a force of nature to abide
By a force beyond
free will or science, yet
The fallacy of
such is merely a sacrifice to the cult of justice
As if one who
does good deserves good;
Or some such the
inverse given depravity
Some may argue my
depression fogging the banks
Of my
consciousness away from optimism petitioning for Prozac
The drugs are the
relay baton of the matrix of purported joys
I would no sooner
down the red pill or the blue
Than to call the
emperor clothed and his tapestry majestic
A pox on the
house of felicitous flag waving!
Give me my stone,
my gray-granite soup of indigestible crud!
Let me die in a
suicide machine of my own creation
At least I am a
life-giver, a freedom fighter betrothed to the rebellion
Stampede the
elephants, brand the donkeys!
Form your armies
against me!
Useless, feckless
herds of swamp disguised as Disneyland!
I prefer my
sanitarium of sterile isolation than the sanitarium of oblivion
There is no hope,
no dream, no prayer, no justice anywhere
Only chance, free
will and science, stab my side, slay me through,
Icarus is melted;
the sun burns; immolate my face staring
Un-flinched into
the sphere of the fiery tempest!
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