Capable

Capable 

You see I am not capable of loving you the way you need

I berate the grid of who I tolerate my self to be

Far too much to ever find a parallel avenue for you to traverse

Even if you wished to attempt such folly 

I have convinced myself that loneliness is a constant

Preferable to the torment of being despised by someone

I had the childish audacity to attempt to love  

Intelligence, beauty, discipline, energy, effort

Lies, disconcerting conversations of words with

Whoever I wish would listen ignores

And whoever is willing is disqualified based on the ration  

Of my penis and or the contents of my skull

In disquieted disagreement with the compatibility of their cranial compartment

The energy required to move beyond introductions is incapacitating

Given the anchors of this zip code and the math of my career  

I must change, I am trying and I am not trying

What the fuck else can I do? 

I have nothing left, no remainder, nothing but flecks

Stuck to a floor only good for staring at to bring back memories  

An exponential inch away like two universal planes almost intersecting

But remaining tangent in perpetuity in a ballet of undulation

Approaching and retreating, approaching and retreating, closer and farther

Cognizant of the probability of the other dimension’s existence, yet incapable

Of confirmation through any sense that makes us human  

Mornings, lunch breaks from work, five o’clock digital ticks

Budgeting planning, anarchism, nihilism, rather watch the world burn

Than be teased by the bastard half-child of hope, a single chromosome deformity

Barking, taunting, grinning as if the hemispheres could ever unite in gleeful prancing  

Spit the bit, unhinge the script into an entire rearrangement of letters

Unfurling syllables like flags of states into smeared colors of fabric

Strewn across the poop decks of grand vessels trampled by rodents

Scurrying up from the galley, bombing feces on the stars and captain’s route map 

Smear the waste of it all, this pirate frigate is on course to oblivion

Arrived at drifting to an unannounced arrival centuries ago in an ocean

Where time is meaningless, the drift will never end.