Fear Not

Fear Not 

Some time around midnight, Saturday August fourth 2012

I was philosophizing on the steps of a New Orleans shotgun

With a band of my younger sibling’s punk rock comrades

Reveling in their Olympic victory at beer pong  

After shouts of “Asia, Asia, Asia” bellowed from humid rafters

We ranted in besot discourse on the parameters of life

The pong-partner of my brother un-crumpled a loose-leaf

Sheet of grammar-school thoughts on why he did not believe in God 

The church, the ritual, blurred ink, who gives a shit

Parental angst, set aside in what progeny of divorced gene-donors

Received in a verbalized correction from the misgivings of the first-go round

Half-and-half compartmentalized, what-it-was 

The other, “How did you get this and I got?”

We can not choose the vagina or sperm or house we were born

The cocaine, the church, the birthday party celebrations

The other said, “I fear death.  I have to finish my plans.

The fear motivates us all.” 

And to this proclamation of a necessity I said,

“I do not fear.  I respect death, but it not what we do that matters,

Only how, the rationale innate, not to our bias, but to peace of the interconnected all,

That we each belong, you, my brother, me, every planet, every being,  

Capable of contemplating that all of existence was created outside of existence,

Not from nothingness, but from a God existing outside of our physical senses,

Not for us to do, but to accomplish actions incapable to an infinite deity,

To participate in the act of choice, to chose the how we will either support our  

Related nature, for we are not separate, we are not nothingness, we are everything

You, my brother me, every planet, every being, we are God

Split acting in the every constant present,

There are memories, there are expectations, but they only exist  

In the all encompassing now, so in this we celebrate and morn entwined in a recognition

That if we perish in our flawed irrelevant bodies this instant, we revert not to judgment,

For what we have done to others, but to that which we have done to ourselves 

There is no expansion or contraction, only the depth of a sorrow or peace resounding

In the one consciousness beyond time, beyond arms or hearts or faces, but in

The ethos of singularity that is nil of physical space,

Making a quark a universe to itself, strung together with the thread  

That belays the quandary that we each know what is we are meant to do,

Yet will never have a clear explanation as to why, or an order

To compel the energies resulting in such a choice to be construed

As a mandate rather than an option,

For if that string were broken and this mystery were to become legal appeasement

We would have fallen not for the devils of religion, but into the belly

Of reverting to that which we have now assured ourselves to be

Through the obliteration of our unverified ignorance  

We return to being a component of the all, of God, laughing at ourselves

From truncating the grand experiment rationalizing life, in place of the

Infinitely dense, infinitely empty nothingness encapsulated in an eternal

Precipice of a contemplation inside what we could be, if we were not fully  

In dominion of our own willed determination resting in the crevice of asking,

Why do?  Why do anything at all, as if we as the everything gave ourselves the gift

Of not knowing, of pretending to ourselves, what if we could dream

The beauties, the horrors, the honesty of universes in a theatre of cascading  

Fantastical consequences parading in the confluences of free wills and

The forces of science like the rhythm of an orchestra conductor’s baton

Correlating a mathematic algebraic balancing assurance as a gut check

And a hint of that which we have intentionally hidden from our segmented partitions  

In order to carry out this iteration in an experiment in which we know

Every step, our particles will vibrate, we have provided the illusions

The very definition for God to exist at all is the ultimate infinite paradox

Looping inside itself in no space, but in the inception of an inception  

Perpetually tangent to the act of choosing, knowing God can never choose

Because choice demands the platform of time as a paradigm of transaction

For there to a be a before, a moment of now to decide and an after for a consequence

God has not that luxury, and to grant the illusion of such, we exist  

In supposed ignorance of what we truly are, or why, or how we do what is that we choose

So haughty, reckless, and bitter over the vast wealth we possess

Occasionally pious and judgmental, yet eternally we come back to the how

How we do what we do is the only thing that matters 

It is the why, in and of itself, innate, answering our own question

In the form of a harmonic resonance or dissonance we send as a chord

In a trans-universal echo booming not of any distance, but into our being

Constantly present in the bowels of our choice, and in this there can be no fear 

There is only now, for time is but an illusion we taught ourselves

Death is the truncation of nothing; at most it is changing clothes

Possibility unveiling the curtain togas of our ignorance for some,

As for my brother, you, and myself, be nakedly here in this now 

Fear not, revel and respect this great present

This peace of the bounty of these breaths, do it now inhale, exhale

Read, view, dive into the words of Kierkegaard, Einstein, Goethe, Spinoza,

Hear Mozart exert the tones of Don Giovanni to our infinitesimal planet  

In the giddy laughter of eons, know the glory of sorrow,

The ecstasy of the ascetic, the peace of the ethical,

Feel the conjoining and the absence encompassing every moment

And the chains of fear dissipate into dust  

Shake not the nudity of this unshackled responsibility, not the world

But embrace the comedy of the self, laugh, love, peace, revel in harmony

Or cower in dissonance now that you have unmasked the armies of fear

See fear in this world, behind its marketing empire 

Strip its barbs in the drums of war from your ears

The piety of thrones to arbitrate hunger or poverty from your stomach

The gall to claim sovereignty in ones accomplishments from your mouth

With the audacity to use language to construct a statement 

For what is our first word, but our grand initial proclamation of our reliance on others?

See fear for its true self, dodging the easy trap of anger,

Towards those who drink fear’s chalice,

For sympathy towards their ignorance is required, love teach, enlighten  

See the grand entanglement, see the irrelevance of nuclear war,

And the horror of the spiritual terror that would lead to such an oblivion

Fear is not an enemy, but an illusion to lift, just as we have hypnotized

Ourselves into the gift our humanity, as a higher functioning being

Capable of recognizing that something outside of existence must have created existence, 

We have traded ignorances, like an envelope inside an envelope,

The looping logic of why we exist at all, we trick ourselves into not knowing

So that life can exist and in that life, we strive every day to un-trick ourselves

From this action so that we may share this bounty with rest of our partition

Beguiled in fear

Rejoice, the choice is ours.”