Every
second that progresses I fall deeper into the madness
I
do not want to be sane
Sanity
is full of numb sober stillness
The
nothingness is obvious plastered like the tale of cotton
Delusions
are stuffed with passion
Masquerades
of the imaginary fervor of potential reciprocation
As
if a feeling is an animal raging and lustful lapping waters at gates
The
brew is tangible in the throes of pain ripped like sinew
Straight
off the bone flopping miraculously in the moon light
The
degradation of a psyche was failing triumphantly
All
on my own in a street full of cold concrete rolled
Blanketed
over the absence as if all these letters and words
Were
not jumbled puzzle pieces in a junk drawer
I
scavenge; I stir; I rummage; I ruminate
In
a death spiral of hues and spoken garbage
Give
me the hell stroke; slay me bloodless
To
bleed out on the curb like a mashed dog
Entitled
to the empathy of a pressed squirrel or opossum
Furry
crackle of transcendence that some feeling was validated
I
was a great squid of the deep surfacing and my how I was hated
Harpooned
like a world-eater that the very act of contemplating caring
Was
to become an abuser, a taker, a monster-man obsessing into the forbidden
“Just
go away son, just go away son; no one wants to hear what you have to say here
We
can tell you need this, want this too much; stop wanting”
A
heart with a switch and a blanket of anger over the entry valve
As
if I could ever approach and I feel like giving into the madness
Live
on the winter’s dip and card board shoe polish menus at the interstate exit
Wander
in the woods and walk the Earth barking at bill boards to let me sleep
The
moon light and the sun in their war of supremacy
And
she can have it; she can have all of it
The
isolation, the confidence, the dance, the locket, the watches and time, time,
time
I
am falling into the insanity I don’t care; it’s hopeless
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