Saturday, November 22, 2014

Aug 27 - Letters to Luna - A packaged mistake pt 2

I am no scientist, but I am amazed at the cosmos, the potential of infinite universes representing a common expanse.  I read, but a lot of it makes me feel like a five year old trying to explain how electricity works.  I dwell on the atomic, the elemental, fate, consciousness, the vibration between a dying stars’ light and my gut.  I think of space-time and wormholes for the potential of a sustainable Einstein-Rosen bridge held by anti-matter to carry particles to parallel universes. 

The whole makes me ponder the irrelevance of time, the weight the human mind puts on the idea of a hundred years compared to the transposing atomic reality of neutered individuality in a theater of the eternal around us.  I think of quasars, black holes, and clocks whispering time like a mathematical common language of God interpreting what we are beckoning us to consider the ramifications of a spiritual interplay. 

I think of the ideas of charges repeating patterns destined to be pulled on a spiritual level like that of an electromagnetic coil.  One is compelled towards that which it is attracted.  Is there a plan; purpose; these are not as important to me as asking, “What choices are available in the crucible of volition as we phase between being more or less aware of the swarming universe?” 

I often see human life through this lens.  It distances me from the surface.  It makes me see the superficial aerobics people engage.  To attempt to swim in the shallows scalds a throbbing layer of dermis flushing my soul with hot blood.  I feel the inner as the pathway to the universe in conversations, sights, and contemplations.  It is difficult for me to prioritize the epidermis. 

I often see existence in a nontraditional trinity of science, thought, and spirit.  One could compare to the traditional Christian trinity.  Science is like God the father, a set of rules that govern existence whether humans are capable of perceiving that existence in the limitations of our physical self or not.  Thought is like God the son, human or a “higher functioning” living being’s perception of volition in a combination of election and instinct.  Spirit is like God the holy spirit differing in that it is the interconnection of existence beyond the physical that links into a one everything. 

In my studies of history, philosophy, psychology sociology, and economics I see human thought covering our species in an exoskeleton of why and what we choose to do like ants in a hill.  The way we govern our countries, go to war, wield power, punish, reward, etc. are important to understand the arbitrary nature of most of what we do as a species.  We spend almost all our time avoiding that which we cannot directly interface in order to approach the science and spirit indirectly. 

A tiny minority of our species sounds the scientific and economic alarms of what the future holds.  Growth and consumption rates show a relatively quick extinction for our species driven primarily by anthropogenic effects of over-population by humans running out of food by raising global temperatures, disturbing the nutrient balance of agreeable land into fallow fields, and most importantly by a lack of empathy recognizing the crucial nature of our interdependence on a tiny planet in a gigantic indifferent universe. 

We could be gone in less than three hundred years.  The Californian droughts, the Louisiana hurricanes are as much to me about humanity’s challenge to work together as our planet’s place amongst the stars.  The skyrocketing populations in Africa, Asia, and South America are correlated to low standards of living exploited by North America, Europe, and Australia.  As global trade patterns shift, we risk heightened human resource demands the planet is too depleted to meet.  Oil is nothing compared to water. 

Human existence is entirely optional.  In my studies of global capital, accounting, and economic growth rates as a business student and professional, combined with human thought processes in psychology and the discipline to analyze them in a spiritual discipline as a poet, I feel this intense connection with what I was put in this life to do.  I feel like part of why I have been given this relatively solitary life diving into such divergent topics is intended to synthesize these varied spheres of science, thought, and spirit and contribute my seed to humanity. 

I have written on these subjects at length and feel like I am nowhere near done.  I am no savior or genius.  I do have a yearning, a monk-like discipline to dwell in the analytical and communicate in the written word.  I am not hoping for trouble, but I see the extrapolation of our behavior as a species and I cannot help but see ways to postpone our inevitable extinction through understanding of the political, economic, religious, and social systems that humans from top to bottom choose to spread our dysfunction denying our animal nature and the vulnerabilities that come with it. 

I see a human’s pain like a living poem affecting her family.  I see the economics that lead the hospital and the workplace to process her mother’s illness.  I see patent laws, the supply chains.  I see why one man blames her for not having the correct medical coverage.  I see the prayers she utters to find solace.  I see the light bulb flickering from the coal.  I see the Wal-Mart t-shirt and the wage chain of modern slavery trickling through Latin America and South East Asia to put it on her back.  I see this human dance and under all of that noise I see what we truly are.

I see the common spirit operating in a mammoth universe beseeching us to pause and pay attention.  The calling for our lives is in how we respond in these moments.  It is not if the mother survives or why she became ill.  It is how we notice and respond. 


Here is an excerpt from the end of my first novel which may add to what I am trying to convey:

594
I felt the connection in my writing and in my country.  I may have lived in some little nowhere American town.  My path may be non-eventful, boring and full of mistakes, but I imagine a lot of people feel that way.  Like Bukowski, I saw myself as a flawed flesh bag, drinking the moment, but inside I wanted to be able to relate with something greater.  I pondered the choice, like Kierkegaard’s either / or.  I recognized the ideas of those that came before me and took the task of possibly adding something to the pile.

I felt duty can only exist in the temple of the individual, for duty requires choice.  Choice requires free will.  Only individuals have free will.  Therefore all duty is to the self embedded inside the choice.  The choice forms culpability to the self for consideration of the universal to which the individual belongs.  So it is in the concentric paradox of this reality existing on the platform of time, which is a constant exchange between the universal and the self. 

Many individuals claim duty to a government, a religion, a law, a genetic relation, a sense of morality born in the external.  Often this ultimate duty is labeled as God, but once we see God in ourselves the act of self-duty ceases to be misconstrued as a narcissistic act or a hedonistic massage of our ego, but one that addresses the very meaning of our existence by recognizing the only manner in which universal responsibility can exist is by acknowledging our membership in a common whole that is what so many refer to as God.  We see ourselves as part of God, rather than betrothed in obligation to an external arbitrator.  Only then does the exclusivity of duty as an internal property become apparent.

When the idea of external duty is deconstructed in its essence there can only be duty to the self; for only a self can choose.  The choice is everything; the individual is the party which benefits and suffers universally through the consequences born onto the individual. 

Forgiveness is our highest duty, for only inside the individual can the genuine nature of forgiveness be determined.  When requested, only the wrong doer knows the intensity of the recognition of the void one has created.  When granting forgiveness, only the forgiver knows the intensity of the selflessness one utilizes to forgive.  These are internal measures that refuel the whole.  The intensity of each component of the duality forging forgiveness stabilizes the system. 

When we exchange in war, murder, hatred and the notable great evils we are living on the surface of the bland extremes: darkness and lightness.  When we divest ourselves from merely the obvious and interject ourselves into the arena of non-choice we are infected with personal culpability for our duty to ourselves to foster an environment which perpetuates the antithesis of darkness; we see a duty to ourselves to foster lightness through ourselves to manifest in the universal.  Without this introspection we are partial beings eclipsed by our limitation to move beyond possibility into task. 

Once we see our beings as part of this ocean of deep still waters, the agitation of the waves of craven demands for justice, blood, and excessive personal profit (for external duty) will subside and allow us to see the infinitude of leagues below our body in an ever unfolding expanse of how the choice made within ourselves affects the universal, yet holds court only within ourselves to become active in task.

Imagine a circular plane flat on a surface supporting a triangle like a pyramid.  The circle is the universal.  The triangle is the self.  The aesthetic profits of choice ascend the pyramid towards a more narrow volume.  The balance of aesthetic prosperity must be exponentially limiting to create the gravity defying nature of work to erect such structures.  For without the work of the individual the triangle collapses onto the circle, shattering each the triangle and the circle into nothingness. 

For this system of circle and triangle is simultaneously inside each individual.  It constructs a universal whole.  So imagine a bounty of stick figure bodies holding circular plates inside their figurative bellies, supporting triangular pyramids on top of those circular plates inside their beings.  The stick figures are stacked in infinite abundance inside the greater circle and inside the greater pyramid, allocated by the infinite randomness of historical free will and the chaotic forces of nature. 

The motion of what rises to the peak of each pyramid and wades humbly in the tide of the oceanic circle is choice.  One is constantly monitoring the duty to the circle and pyramid inside one’s being, and also the circle and pyramid one’s being resides inside.  If too many individuals raise their individual desires to the extreme, the top of the pyramid will shatter, if not enough, the circular plate will overflow.  In each extreme the balance is destroyed and existence collapses into nothingness.

This is the paradox of free will.  This paradox is everything.  It is what makes us one, while also an infinitude of replicated individuals beholden to a recycling internal culpability that is interconnected to the all.  We coexist because we are part of what so many would default to as calling God. 

The omnipotent component of God exists outside of physical existence, always existing before nothingness.  We always existed outside of existence into nothingness severed from our self-granted ability to choose (our free will.)  Once we burdened / granted our free will, we were granted the either /or; to see that we are simultaneously individual and universal in existence and in nonexistence, constant and timeless, yet beholden to time in this stage, in this form.  We reflect the timeliness of our gift of choice that grants us the arena and bounties of life along with the duty that embodies our beings as individuals. 

Kierkegaard intimated that we are in a way our own father.  We have an internal duty to raise ourselves, to have neutered gender intercourse within ourselves, to birth ourselves as child through the course of our life.  Some may never begin this task, and thus they will never break through to an end, to unearth the beginning of defining an internal duty. 

Most parents can comprehend an external duty to the wellbeing of their offspring, exacerbated by the selfish compulsion of genetics.  So in the same vein, with self-actualization we can wield a similar motivating energy to rear the child born inside ourselves to be an adult with a resolute and mature intense sense of inner duty.  In this growth we find the universal and our true selves; in this we find the meaning of all.

I have seen the modern confluence of scientific technologies and economic barter play out in the stock market exchanges.  The dominion of the individual has defaulted into the hive of the corporation evolving self-exoneration by defining largess to one’s self as a necessity for the greater good. 

When we rationalize an external duty of a corporation to maximize profit as the singular external duty, we have gouged the eyes of our inner duty, yet despite our blindness, inner duty is constant.  The balance between the arena of work toiled by the individual to harvest a crop sufficient to ensure his own perpetuating nourishment (including an honest measure of pleasantry in excess of that which is minimally required to ensure the next day’s continuation of labor) and the counterweight of what is only possible due to the platform of the universal on which the individual stands to conduct his business, is the definition of what is owed to the universal.

Thinkers like Ayn Rand at war with altruism have the gall to use language to construct a polemic against such considerations of the universal as detrimental to the universal by arguing that energies diverted to the universal diminish the individual from becoming exemplary and benefiting the whole by a greater measure. 

Without the universal what words would an individual speak, but ones of indistinguishable prattle?  One discovers fire, one discovers a heart valve, another a microchip and so we are infinitely savagely lost without such stepping stones manifested in the connected palms of the deceased offering their life’s work to exist as a root living into infinity to bloom the branch of a common plant.

We are interdependent from inception.  Rand was blinded by the Bolsheviks who raided her father’s wealth.  The Bolsheviks were blinded in the other extreme by taking more than what was owed back to the universal and extinguishing the will of the individual to work.  The extremes of absolute altruism and absolute self-interest are equally malignant.  Absolute altruism floods the oceanic circle.  Absolute self-interest bursts the roof of the pyramid.  Each results to surfeit calamity.

The war between these absolutes births the intransigence of modern American Democrats and Republicans worshiping temples of liberal and conservative.  This lack of assimilation to a comingled norm executes practical ideas on the altar of turning internal duty to an exercise of moral conviction.  The complete duty is ignored for a faith in a costumed parody of what is good in order to combat what is a costumed parody of what is evil.  This pantomime turns democratic elections into a baleful farce.

These prancing marionettes battle on our televisions, on our radio waves, and from bully pulpits all the while strung to hands of the same monster.  Imagine a man with two hands right and left free to shake, but forming fists smashing into each other.  What has been injured a subset of fingers or a body?  This is our body at war with itself.

This is the cult of the evangelized individual flung to either the extreme of absolute altruism or absolute self-interest bearing the hazy ache of a concussion.  This individual cannot see.  This individual cannot hear. 

This individual is fraught with fear.  There is fear of the other, fear that the other will not help the universal unless forced and fear of the other that the individual will be forced, rather than trusted under the auspices of his own free-will.  This is where fear must be shed and trust must flourish to find a healthy medium for the individual to fulfill his concentric duty to his self and the universal.  Our greatest unction is forgiveness.

The tenants of objectivism exclude the presence of the platform of the universal as a mandatory subcomponent of the individual.  Objectivism only sees the pyramid and is blind to the circle.  This internal duality of universal and individual enveloped inside our consciousness is a perfunctory dynamic of free-willed existence.  To ignore this dynamic is to fall in love with one’s self.  It is to attribute all well-doing to one’s self, while standing on the shoulders of the universal bleeding from our eye sockets still blind to our inner duty. 

This blindness is a non-choice to search for the deeper dynamic.  It is not the choice of evil, but the non-choice to begin the task of searching.  The individual yoked to this handicap often believes that the acts perpetuated under such lack of vision are good.  For in reality, like each of us, the act is part good and part evil.  The toil of work, the expulsion of energy to climb the pyramid, the contribution is good.  The failure to recognize the platform of the universal (to see the circle) making that work possible is the evil, which in the individual’s blindness he misconstrues as his own good.  In this confusion is where the greater evils of demands for justice, blood, and the possession of what one deems their entitled share of profit arise. 

Only in acknowledging our duty to begin this task of sight for the first time, will we ever mature into our authentic actualized selves.  To see this way is the beautiful struggle.  This is the struggle of existence.  This is why we called ourselves into free-willed existence.  This is the melody of balancing forgiveness.

We see the beauty around us popping exuberantly on each face, on each individual as part of a common one on this planet or any dwelling in all of universal existence.  We see beyond time, beyond the shortsightedness of traditional prayer, of war, of justice, of petty jealousies, into a ubiquitous faith innate to what is life, what is art, what is nature; growing swarming, singing in a harmonic resonance without words, in tone understood like Mozart aesthetically beautiful without the constriction of human tongue, but breaking the barriers of us as an individual expounding our oneness in the common beauty of everywhere, of everything, of ourselves.  This is the meaning of life.  This is God to me.

We are never alone in this.  The people we see all around the perimeters of our lives; these humans in innumerable infinite parallel lines; we are all just one big line.

Einstein could fathom that energy and mass were transmutable.  Time dilates with gravity.  My human brain finds it difficult to even begin to contemplate the ramifications of the fourth dimension of time or infinite universes beyond our own on my frail miniscule body.  For God, time and physical space are both independent of God’s paradigm.  God has no time and no physical matter to constitute a mass.  These four dimensions: length, width, height and time are just us.  In the merging of all these paths we are but one stream. 

These choices we make everyday are a matter of our limited human perspective.  We must transcend our definition of a human paradigm to ask questions.  Will I feed my fellow man?  Will I ask for help?  Will I accept love?  Do you hear me?  Do you see me?  Will I accept the task of choice?

Living hand to mouth, tied to cuffs of debt, unlivable wages, fingers stretched: Kroger, rent, children’s faces, there is nothing left.  No 1980’s utopia.  We are the Somali refugee in Nike’s eating our own body to sustain respiration.  Our paradoxical belly bulges.  Two negatives collide, not for nourishment, but consciousness.

How we do what we do matters, because we are all connected in such ways.  In every religion masquerading as its own form of flawed and beautiful politic, every face, every skin tone, every unborn life, every stricken cancerous body, every immigrant, every alien, every planet, every song; we are but one.  Why are we here: love or fear?

Our flaws, our weaknesses are but opportunities for others to curve into the angle of that puzzle piece like a light beam bending on the gravitational force within our being and converge to blur their single parallel line into our collective united path.


**** End of excerpt

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