Hope like a Cork

Praying for the capacity to believe I will not hunger for what I felt as possible

Teetering between acceptance that she never existed hungering for confirmation

With a response in written, verbal, or auditory retort

That this was not me reading the undertones correctly masked in her grief

Her fear, her sadness, her reluctance, her guise of the internal to hold back

All that I saw as possible undulating in her waters

I do not want such oceans of paradise and inspiration to exist in her

For if so the frustration and crestfallen waters be that of a foul perdition

The chasm of her rejection to my hopes blockades me into a prison of shedding

Hope itself to ever dream of such a purity of spiritual affinity

For if I felt it so a strain in her than all subsequent iterations of detection

Compel a circumspection that neuters a man’s passion to reside in the realm

Of Thomas and the like bearing out time until all romance is a vampire’s extraction

I pray; I pray; I pray

To feel God like a lightning bolt surging me to see why this was as to an alternative

For the present feels a dip of cruelty shaking the years of my construction like an airplane

Taunting plummet varying cabin pressure into turbulent ironic chicanery

To leave the gardens of such release, accepting the universe’s call to be present

Finding the owl in the darkness and to have the spooked flight be such simplistic departure

Is to dub this poet’s heart the commodity of a drive through lumped like soy-meat

If she shall not answer I beg to you God for a purpose in this madness

The universe has spun the spider-work into nothingness threads of sticky web

Asunder into the umbrage of division racking the suns and moons into indifferent bodies

Disconnected searches bouncing beams for the sport of flipped extinctions

Counting towards the nonsense of blanket meaninglessness rapture after rapture

I have bent and pled and will again for her heart to open like a light seen from the unseen

To spark this love from fear’s talons and pull out on thunder road’s shining victory

If there ever was a moment of my crossroads I felt it this

In time, in time, in space, in space, drifting, drifting

Hope like a cork bobbing in the ocean of the universe

Praying for a struggle within her to bite and help me see

To begin anew