My
daughter is currently eight
I brought
her awareness once around four
That
there is a checklist of childhood
One in
which fathers can recognize within the moment of occurrence
That a
child is in action marking off one of these boxes
Like an
Oklahoman flag-claim, a demarcation of youth evolving
These
tasks, these bubbles of thought and silliness are fleeting
Like all
expanses of life, we evolve in stages
While in
the present our ignorance is obliterated silently
When we
pass into a future where what was possible
With
shorter limbs is no longer feasible by longer ones
Strung
from the same trunk, yet yoked by an adulterated mind
So far up
until now this checklist of childhood has gone undocumented
More so
when noticed I would tell her, “Yep, that’s on the checklist.”
Or she
may inquire her sage father about its applicable status
So in
this poem I will attempt to document a cross section of these in no particular
order other than how I happen to recall them so that she and I will forever
recollect their passing
ü
Make crab-claw swords with butter knives and
tape to duel with your best friend during a sleepover
ü
Make a blanket-fort out of chairs and rig it
with hair ribbons and pony-tail holders, if the fort was to fall to an invading
army during the middle of the night, you and your sleepover buddy will convert
the roof of said fort into a walled fortress without waking your sleeping
father from his kingdom; this is a great sign of maturity
ü
Dub your orange juice and red beans and rice by
monster names such as witches brew and eye of newt complete with a back story
ü
To express your displeasure with the very
concept of any form of pepper on anything you might possibly think of eating
even if it is not something you are eating, have ever eaten or might be asked
to eat, if you think it has been around pepper you will make sure that others
are aware of your total segregation from such spices; then to proceed to eat
things with pepper on occasion that your food tasters forgot to mention such
pepper abominations were included.
ü
Dance-skipping in your driveway in a mini
Laverne and Shirley routine with your best friend despite ever seeing Laverne
and Shirley or Wayne’s World yet
ü
Go fishing with your dad and your grandpa
ü
Put on hunter’s orange and sit with grandpa in
the blind, also practice bee-bee shooting with him or ride his tractor
ü
Marching through the forest with your dad and
grandmother and become the scout on a rogue pirate ship for him to be captain
and Grandma First Mate to avoid the walrus mines and shoot pineapple cannons at
the renegade cutters and fairies attempting to invade our brains
ü
Do wall paintings half by dad / half by daughter
and hang them in your room full of dinosaurs, butterflies and hearts.
ü
Make drawings for your dad’s office wall with
anthropomorphic hearts with feet and arms and faces that says, “I love you
dad. You are the best dad ever. I think no other dad cold be beter than
you.” And that is the spelling you used
and your dad will keep it forever and he knows you wrote it in the back of the
car when we were driving together and a father need nothing more.
ü
To dress up like Scooby Doo and Freddie and go
to Boo at the Zoo in New Orleans, fall asleep on his shoulder
ü
To dress up like Finn and Jake from Adventure
Time and go to Boo at the Zoo in New Orleans and also do this for fun around
the house and get fake swords and live the land Ooh!
ü
That your blanky, in this case green blanky,
actually does have a face and a butt and cares about you and misses you when
you are not there and when you return to each other’s presence this is called
for rejoicing and green blanky must be hugged and loved on
ü
To read the entire series of Chronicles of
Narnia with your dad
ü
Make a list of rules and consequences on a chart
with your dad to try to communicate do’s and don’ts and what will happen in
each instance. This system survives on
sticker rewards and threats of non-sticker days on a calendar system, until one
day learning has occurred to a level of behavior that the stickers are no
longer needed. A father looks back at a
well-behaved never-spanked-once eight year old and smiles at a self-correcting
child
ü
To learn how to do cross stitch from your
Grandma
ü
To pretend to be a ninja when getting your
school uniform on a Monday morning pull the hood tight and do karate moves on
your way to brush your teeth while your dad does your pony tail
ü
To pick blueberries off the bush; to plant a
tree that is now taller than you
ü
To learn how to ride a bike with no training
wheels where your dad was holding your seat and then he lets go and you don’t
realize it and you are riding, riding, riding and he will forever remember he
was there for that moment
ü
To find a turtle in one set of woods and want to
bring him home and then realize he escapes his card-board prison in the middle
of the night and you name him Sneaky and then we release him to another set of
woods in the morning near our house and envision that his life turned out well
ü
To cry like the world ended when you accidently
drop your favorite food item (sausage, ice cream, candy, pancake, etc. on the
floor.)
ü
To go indoor rock wall climbing with your dad
and he holds the belay and you are afraid to go higher and he keeps encouraging
you and you let go of the wall and realize that he would never let you fall and
you find freedom and trust where there was fear, and the fear goes away and you
find laughter and strength and you make it to the top of the wall and you feel
like you can do anything
ü
To get phantom injuries fall on the ground and
it all be magically healed by daddy kisses and hugs and then one day realize
why you felt the need to do that
ü
To become a self-bather and do the whole process
by yourself and know all the work your parents put in to get you there
ü
To be able to quote Yoda, “Do or Do not there is
no try” and then you draw pictures of Yoda for weeks on end in little notebooks
ü
To have seven diaries of drawings at once
ü
To eat beignets at Café Du Monde and get powdered
sugar on everything
ü
Coffee is chocolate milk your grandpa fixes you
when you are over at his house and you watch the birds wake up together
ü
To have Sunday morning blueberry animal pancakes
with Steens’ syrup as a tradition listening to the Avett Brothers
ü
To put a lolly pop inside an anthill and leave
it there for a day or so and come back and see what happens; also to poke
random ant hills with sticks and pretend to be a giant and go to war
ü
To stack pyramids out of loose pinecones
ü
To pretend to be an animal kung-fu master with
random sticks you find in the yard and perform animal fighting styles against
your dad with the shark and the unstoppable Guinea Pig who appears cute, crawls
around his feet on all fours three times and then yells, “tricked you” and
proceeds to stab her father for the victory
ü
To kick a soccer ball against a fence at your
shadow
ü
To plant a garden in the backyard with your dad
and make dirt angels like it was snow.
To sit still and let the butterflies come near you
ü
To pull out a blanket in the backyard near the
garden with your dad and write what you are thankful for on Sunday mornings as
you breathe in the world
ü
To put up the tent in the backyard and have a
campout with your dad, this also works for picnics and can be done in the
living room if need be
ü
To be in said tent during the middle of the
night during a downpour and be carried by your dad into the house because the
tent is about to blow over from the wind, get dried off and get back to sleep
without realizing all the stuff your dad just did to make it like it was
nothing
ü
To dance in a sea of bubbles in the driveway
ü
To realize that unicorns poop rainbows
ü
To sing the refrains to rock and roll songs as
your dad sings the rest of the lyrics as you imitate drums or guitar depending
on inclination as you drive down the road
ü
To go to the library every week from three to
five years old and read book after book and your dad holds his finger over the
words and stops and you read the word selected until one day the train clicks
on track and any book is possible
ü
To play school and give parents and other adults
homework and grades
ü
Predictability is next to godliness
ü
To call your dad into conversations while you
are sitting on the toilet and ask existential questions about life and
rudimentary biology particularly about poop and pee and laugh
ü
To use 10,000 Kleenex’s when you have a runny
nose
ü
To play co-op-team video games with your dad and
realize your dad grew up in the 1980’s and this knowledge makes him useful
ü
Laughing so hard you burb and laugh at the same
time which compiles more laughter sucking one into a vortex of hilarity
ü
Watching and wanting to watch the Swam Princess
movie at four, ten million times in a row and then growing out of it and never
seeing it in years and not even mentioning it
ü
To learn how to fart on command; (this is on the
extra credit portion of the checklist) Making bubbles in the bath tub and wanting
to say, “Hey dad come see” is Jedi level.
ü
Protesting making ones bed as a torturous
impossible task, having your father stand there and explain putting corners of
sheet to corner of bed, frumping throughout and then at the end realizing yes,
I can in fact do this myself and then feeling proud
ü
Collect long grass blades and flowers and make
crowns, bracelets and rings out as you create your own magical outdoor kingdom
ü
Finding rocks to put in your terrarium for your
turtle so they have something to stand on
ü
Seeing your dog have puppies and then lick the
pee and poo off of them and giggle
ü
Diving for plastic sticks at the bottom of the
swimming pool
ü
Having cheese pizza be the only acceptable form
of pizza and then all of a sudden other combination become possible
ü
Figuring out the tooth fairy, magical creature
parental hypocrisy and being ok with it as long as you still get presents
ü
To pretend to be superhero pandas in any bamboo
forest you find
ü
Flying a two dollar kite and wanting nothing
else
ü
Filling a bug catcher with any arthropod or insect
you can capture, giving them names and then realizing freedom is best
ü
Seeing the lawn sprinkler on and running through
it with your clothes on just because
ü
Climbing a tree that was impossible the year
before
ü
Making up silly songs with nonsensical lyrics
about your spaghetti
ü
Learning that athletic events have basic strategies
that you are permitted to consider and that most of the parents screaming at
the kids from the stands are nuts
ü
Glitter really is wonderful for any occasion or celebration
of construction paper
ü
Going to your first rock and roll /punk rock
festival and getting to go back stage because it is on your Uncle’s record
label and playing with your Finn and Jake Adventure Time stuffed figures,
coloring pictures and running around like crazy when you feel like you wanna,
because live music is Kabam Awesome!
ü
BFF’s are super-dooper; when you or they have to
move it breaks your heart, and yet you still grow
ü
Bumping a half-deflated helium balloon while
laying on your back in the den with only your feet side by side with your dad
can actually consume two hours of fun
ü
Jumping up and down with your dad after the
Saints score a touchdown against the Falcons on Monday Night Football in your matching
Who Dat Nation shirt, knowing you have to be in bed by the end of the first
quarter and that is the best part of football; also that daddy will never under
any circumstance root for or encourage the well-being of the Atlanta Falcons.
ü
Painting Faces on Halloween pumpkins and calling
one Monster Glasses
ü
Burying your first deceased pet
ü
To know from four to eight I was only able to
see you three of every seven days and for a while now it will be four in every
twenty eight, but quality trumps quantity, or at least that is what we will
tell ourselves; to life because we both deserve to ride the rainbows
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