Trying not to Want

I want a voice to cheer from my corner

I want legs to walk to the breakfast table with me

I want ears to listen to my writing inside her mind

I want nostrils to inhale the waft of my cooking in appreciation

I want eyes to look at me before turning the lamp before sleep

I want a wife who wishes to be present, choosing

The balance of elusive melody playing like a eulogy

Wondering if I will ever have her ask me to be her version

Of these counterweights

So that when the account of my life is told

There is a reason for those people that say everything has a reason

There is a measure for all those people who see a judicial balance

For me I wish to know what love is

For I do not claim to know

Every instance feels like a mirage of heathens and drunkards

Seeing distorted visions in states of chaos wanting the picture to be

Something other than a blurring apparition

I want a credulity of heart to pair with the bullet holes

I want to believe in better than as possible

I want to hold and link and service a timeless being

I want the unguarded bastion to rook

I want to know my library has been and is being read as it is written

I want to feel her absorb the glow of my smile as she enters the room

I want to provide and feel in every part more than a mortal man

I want to escort the dreams of folding lifetimes into the pages of her wishes

I want to know the echoing corners of her travels to interpret any languages she chooses

I want to be the one

How to; who; when;

I am not certain

Just trying not to want