Want to be a Pill Popper?

If you do exist, I’ll suspend, but if you do

Why?

What am I here to accomplish, perform, uncover?

I have run out of fuel, tank, kaput

I am embarrassed by my choices and

Lack the will to choose an alternative

Simple foundation to have a partner to be present

For the will to do

The energy required to search drains the preponderance

Of what I can produce

The anxiety of being on alert peeking behind eyebrows

For potential avenues of progression

The call up says try, try son because

Your mother wants you to be happy before she dies

So do I

The numb lake rolls a scrape tide

Central love yourself before others will

I tried, I give up; it has never worked in thirty-five years

That is more than what Jesus had

Have not used that word in a while

The nights and days feel like used toilet paper

Soiled before I get them

I pull from the roll and the feces is pre-smeared

I wipe anyway, mix the truth, own the iteration

Alarm clock, computer screens, accountancy

Commutes, dinner in one garbage bin

Read, shower, sleep, see the kid every other end of weeks

Send out the flares to the gawk; there is no answer

Mother knows and that is why she cries

Because the pill does not change a damn thing