Prisons Enveloped in Prisons

All the things I wish I felt permission to request, to admit

If you would try to love me back I would try to make it work

Try in the sidelines because I taste a familiar desperation

That coats every droplet of hope

I do not know if my tools of interpretation are distorted by a crimp brain

Or just a broken heart crumpled and blackened into charred tin foil

I saw your small acts of interest and wanted to bellow the fire

I wanted to believe that love could be achievable

Something could come easy or at least be an option for me to choose

Rather than another ghost teasing me in kiss-me go-away, no-silence

I thought there were feelings in there, the can was not empty

I had been valued above an exchangeable plastic nothing

I was a person that shown out to as unique

As all these words I saw in the quiet reader sipping cocktails conversing

Was real, like touching an inner part that transcending the expectation of years

I felt special and possible; I felt like time had purpose

Then I felt like a madman, a crank on a street corner bending nothings

Capability was rising as if the weight of these things I carry diluted

In the exit they hydrated into hippopotamus saddle bags

The songs, the shadowed corner, kissing in the foyer, the tempt

The want of possible haunts me in a cage of identified unwanted

I am dust in the hazy waft flustered into a retirement of nonsense

Pacing up those stairs like a lumberjack of depression

Hulking day after same day seeing a chorus of relative photographs in the hall

Thinking of the identity missing of cousins, uncles, parents, siblings

And nowhere in the mesh is any semblance of a partner

Waiting on trains, stations of benches and hammering rails

Feeling the clock like an albatross, caw, caw, caw

The epilepsy is dancing like plaque in a brain of shake

Prisons enveloped in prisons of mirage paroles taunting exits like sunrays

Sure you get to leave sir, but we will cut you in quadrants and one quarter

Will leave today with her and the rest get to stay, function here okay

Seeing distorted dreams parade like gingerbread houses flooded in milk

Made soggy for the sugar to swirl like crystal gum reds in the streets

Mush brown white icing clogged with cockroach eggs

Watching it all from prisons enveloped in prisons