There is a Lesson here Somewhere

 I do not want to imagine it was nothing to her

That is my default setting that whatever lights me on fire

Is some cause for alarm in the other

Oops too much interest displayed son, you are going to pay

The problems always begin with the wanting

The game of the balance of power in who displays more desperation

It makes me want to exit life itself

This call to procreate and pair in order to win some competition

That is not my priority; I am on this existential tangent

And wanted somebody to join me on this deep personal knowing journey

Yet that feels like boredom or punishment to so many

I want to give up; I tried cursing God out of belief

The credulity keeps undulating with the random bouts with ambivalence

By females of if I was ever even worthy of a conversation

I have trouble imagining the path that if someone ever wanted closure

A discussion, a balancing act in order to move forward

That I would deny them that in order to avoid the confrontation

That might apply greater indemnification to me and hardship to the other

I am no saint; but I can empathize

Yet these women, with the only common factor being me

Have chosen to be unresponsive like in all their father issues

I see my own daughter attempt to do anything but that which I request

To attract my negative attention; she knows I will react in someway

So she does; and so I should just learn to give up

There never was a reason for speaking; whenever a person chooses

To abandon you, no matter how much you love them

You should not try to repair, just give up; that’s God’s message

Don’t try; don’t love; hold people hostage

When you find out they want you more than you want them

Punish them for it by juicing the lemon; spray it right in their damn eyeballs

Make ‘em pay with desperation and you can slurp up their groveling

Harden your soul