I never wanted to put that alpha
male coat on for you
If you needed to see the beard and
the gun with the thump
Push others down for me to stand up
Well sorry I do not perform circus
acrobatics
To grab your attention; this, this
in here, these thoughts
Are for me, not for you
So if that means I spend most of
this life
Alienating people who might have
gotten to know me
Well, I guess I am mangled
I tried at times to shimmy my ass,
put on some semblance
Of face to ask, to converse and the
distortion was palpable
The discord between love sick and
confident inquiry
Left trails of non-response
The actresses stared blankly and
stuck with the actors
The cheerleaders kept to the crowds
The smokers kept in the clouds
Fuck it, give me the pages; I’ll
figure it out later
The post it notes and rollicking
legal briefs
Stab wounds and rural streets
Bible bastions and baby dreams
Halloween here is my candy I don’t
want a single piece
Easter here is your painted egg of
soft boiled ick
Christmas here is your transformer
fir and cookie sheet
Birthday here is your accolade I
never did a thing
Showing up for what; was there a
choice made?
Molded simulacrum in a blood bag umbilical
noose
Spat out and watching what
constitutes brave
The scent of bubble gum prompts
nausea
Never asked, contemplating take back
The phony rank, hypocrisy smut,
sugar addiction, cake-batter lust
Vomitus lacquer paint the eye shadow
envy
Response like cardiac perdition;
savior is late
Never going to say; ain’t that brave
Spoke and asked, but some ain’t that
brave
Ashes burn the story cold ain’t no
hero here to raise a sword
Just words, just words baby, that’s all I got
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