Vanity I wanted you to want me
Loneliness I wanted you to release
me
Darkness I wanted you to give me
greater distance
Happiness I wanted you to have a
group talk
The presence and rotation of sitting
at the patio and having hope
Thinking of how mosquitoes might
irritate her skin
And attempting a connection in this
world
Even if the blood spills and
abdomens explode
I hungered for the clearness of a
moment of joy
In piercing the atmosphere of normal
That there were two people who
elected the other
As the most important in life for
them for that day
Before the other was an unknown
phantom of an idea
A hope, an expectation, a what if,
but
Today the other is a focus of
exploration, of potential foundation
The mind projects and glitters with
the anticipation of neural fireworks
The stimuli of inquiries and
festivities of childhoods and adult should,
But do not because one is or is not
brave enough to break a mold
Of familiar or conditioned or
clearness
In a second the other changes tilts
the fulcrum
Want, desire, planning and need
shift
Like destitution and glory whirling
in the pinnacle of a soul
Betting on the tapestry of another
to come through
Even though the other is flawed,
weak, and well-intended
The water bleeds the bedrock of
palms dripping to fields
One may never get to drink; poured
every once in
And getting none in return
Such is the shortfall of loving
still
In a madness ocean
Howling want me, never release me
Hold me tight in the darkness,
happily speak together
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