But
people can be told they are loved too much
I
know in the politically correct presumptively feminine ideal of modern
American
pop culture there is a default cult of the soccer mom
The
sins of the workaholic, drunk, absent, abusive, Neanderthal father,
Who
is expected to do little more than bring home a pay-check
And
enjoys or initiates such distance from cooking, cleaning or child-rearing
Is
a dying fable ailing in parallel to the conceptual non-employed mother
In
this broken down 21st Century both parents must work in middle class
America
This
transition is morphing a disseminating allocation of what is so commonly
referred
To
as a package of chores handed out by the female in the household
As
if the domain of a dishwasher, a pot, and a sink or a towel, a basket, and a
washer
Or
a floor, a broom and a dustpan, or a countertop, disinfectant and a rag
Or
an electronically drafted utility bill or packing a school lunch with apple
slices
Or
the name of a kid’s BFF or a bounce house party on the upcoming Saturday
Were
each an equal conundrum to the male of the human species and without
The
female’s interface he would be left staring at a sock draw sorting
Like
Sisyphus for all eternity
This
condescension has led to stay-at-home mothers being dubbed as having three jobs
On
Dr. Phil and Oprah, who while I admire their conversations with America,
This
one in particular is placating their wallet and their target audience to its detriment
There
are multiple types of income to a family, but the insecurity of the
stay-at-home parent
Due
to past mistreatment and manipulation by men over women is transposing into an
Overcorrected battleground in Generation X that is destroying the natural
vulnerability of women And the independent provider confidence of men as roles
converge
Each
must release and become more of the other’s gender to allow recognition
That
we are each required to do more, all of it, more, there is no reprieve from
this economy
Every
child is a choice, a conscious act of penis in vagina or adoption
Our
inability to have mature conversations about the reality of sex and the
alternative of abortion
In
context to the fiscal reality of the lowest rungs to the highest in modern
societies
With
access to birth control, the inevitable accidental pregnancies and the cop-outs
of intentional and unintentional pregnancies defaulting to taxpayers for
financial subsidy is pandemic
If
you are a parent of multiple children and staying at home as a surrogate to
child care for your home, you made a choice, you are not a martyr and no one
should be applauded for parenting their own children. Those picking up the missing link adopting
those who have no one; you are in a different arena all together.
Those
making choices should simply find the self-respect to own their choice and know
for every piece of candy pressed into the carpet, every diaper full of feces,
every request to satiate an offspring’s boredom or despair or absence of
plaything; there is the choice staring back and the alternative of the world
does not owe a bit of gratitude,
The
best one can expect is a lack of admonishment for when a parent meets this
expectation through the rearing attempt of a child, which may or may not listen
to a damn thing a parent every says or a morsel of empathy when a parent has
tried everything without avail
One
of those gaps is a parent telling their child at every interface how much they
are loved
I
mean this in the sense that once a moderate dosage is not deemed enough and it
is repeated and repeated, the message becomes like antibiotics treating a mythical
gap in self-esteem until like all medications the effect is diminished to
entertain a child’s doubts of any word that comes out a parent’s mouth
Some
kids do need to hear such waves of words, but I will offer this:
A
secure love is one hug, one kiss, one phrasing, not ten, not once said, then said
again and again
As
if the first one could not have been accepted by the child from the parent
So
the insecurities of the parent are broadcasted to the offspring in repetition
A
parent must above all avoid hypocrisy, when time-out is uttered to a four-year
old
A
child must understand the lack of negotiation, there cannot be debate or
pampering or
Mixed
messages, parents must stand firm in the declaration that it is not easier or
better
In
the long run to allow a child to eat spun-sugar or never become an organized
human
Discipline
is born in the absence of such hypocrisy and thus none can exist in the
presence
Of
a babbling parent splicing his or her tongue to placate a child who naturally
wants
In
every way to please the parent and to learn the rules of life, this resistance
is not obstinacy
It
is an organism testing environmental stimuli to discern consequence with action
When
seven ‘I love you’s’ are uttered or no time-outs come, the anesthetization of
youth
Cascades
into adults who have never been trained how to be parents
So
in this I urge the loving parents of this world, for us to be secure in our
love
To
teach our children to be secure in our absence, to know the depth of love
Without
the perpetual verbal reconfirmation to the degree that is currently in action
For
the wives, allow your husbands to be seen as equal help-mates in the house
Without
dictating and criticizing his way of cleaning, cooking or child rearing as if he
were you. A single gender did not invent
such domains.
For
the only way he will ever take a portion of ownership of them, as such daytime
talk shows seem to fantasize over, is for the female to let go, to have the
secure-self-love that you are worth more than a dishwasher and he can do this
and still value you beyond this role;
How
often are the signals of female condescension actually a quest for self-definition
and a macro-level affirmation of who she is as a whole? Men are no different. Men seek the same. When a wife’s paycheck supplants a husband’s,
he faces a similar unspoken psychological reconciliation of gender roles,
identity and self-worth. Husbands do the
same with your fonts of empathy
In
this balance the world can achieve a complementary pinnacle unrivaled in potential
of gender.
In
this balance children can be afforded the tools to conquer our multi-faceted global
workplace
Whether
or not the prior generations understand why such equilibrium is pertinent.
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