A Rant on Insecurity and the Universe

Insecurity is the number one ruining force in all relationships.  It provides the ultimate thinking labyrinth.  Insecurity leads one to knot hallways of illusion to form the infinity symbol inside the unconscious.  One wanders through swamp thick ordained ineptitude to intentionally sabotage one’s inability to fulfill desires.  The conscious wishes of virility, beauty, intelligence, esteem, strength, and understanding are dubbed unattainable due to the knot. 

Therein our failures score not under the ledger of our accountability, but to external forces to which we are by foundational limitation inept from overcoming.  Our insecurities cement the rationalization.  Our conscious and unconscious minds battle.  Each trades roles depending on our day’s disposition. 

In our weakness the unconscious purports the flawed lies of the excuse and our conscious berates our abilities.  Everyone has flaws.  The Earth is not athletes and models of Newtonian intelligence doing philanthropic work for legions of those in need while mastering the marketplace with empathetic familial hearts teaching progeny to better the species in genetic ballet.  Pinnacles are their own form of illusion.  So are desires.

What one seeks is often what one lacks, not what one is.  The ego may derail this fulfillment through hungering for a psychological doppelganger.  Human growth is stymied in such childish mirrors.  Children wish to be told they represent the ideal.  Adults pursue the honesty of a pruned plant.  Rain forests flourish in such trials.

We like the electromagnetic force pursue balance.  Insecurity derails our completeness by limiting the love we have to give by the love we feel we deserve.  Even the unattained does not represent that which we failed to be worthy.  The seed is in the doing, the attempt, not the result.  The act of doing shocks the system towards growth.  The flower is consequence not cause. 

When we assume the stasis of what we perceive ourselves to be is complete, we become a desert.  We sacrifice our balance for a one-sided mirage utopia.  The insecure mind sees divergent personality traits as superior competition.  The secure sees complements to foster mutual benefit.  The reaction to opposing forces in our sociological Olympiad is how we either grow or wallow inside a feckless stasis of self-endowed insecurity. 

The challenge is to engage in the sexual troughs of experimentation that exalt our libido to relieve conflict with the unconsciousness mind through mutually fed relationships.  We can devour the security of others in flawed demotion of the other for the temporary opiate of esteem.  This is common in beer and cosmetic commercials.  In contrast we can nourish each human through a trusting reciprocation that each is committed to better the other.

Like two lines resting in a triangular peek, these reciprocal objectives achieve a common strength.  Each trusts the other to remain.  Insecurity challenges this trust and in turn creates a game of chicken with our conflicting desires of egotistic known and unknown.  We seek both the pleasure of companionship and the security of absolute assurance. 

True love can never offer such absolutes.  Love requires the uncertainty to instil the validity of its worth.  Like God, if we knew what mirrored the Big Bang, a close for our opening for instance, the potential of a multiverse or a first cause or comprehension of a presence which connects us, the value in the trust and respect fostered through unknowing is more precious than the certitude of inscrutable evidence of either confirmation or refutation.

So in this balance of insecurity we see love, we see the universe, we see dare to dream purpose.