The most malicious
of ironies
I pushed you away
because I knew there was an illness in me
I was uncertain on
if or when I would ever find a cure
To spare you
infection I requested solitary
I never stopped
loving you
The words resonate
To achieve the
isolation I accepted watching my beloved
Ride off to a Lone
Star life
This demon in me
we have battled
I wished him gone
more than anyone
In the nadir of
contemplating the apex of what might have been our marriage
A dream cast upon
my cradle and I found the sword
To just cut it
loose and be dragged down no more
Rising up I search
for daylight in your eyes
In the demon’s
blood on the blade I see the glimmer or your injury
Reflecting in your
love like wine into vinegar for me
Your faith in us
withered like huckleberries
I never stopped
loving you
All I wanted was a
chance to be myself once more
Like a man
hindered behind a gargoyle’s mask loving you all the while
Finally shed of
stone he sees such pain in you twisted into ambivalence
And into the arms
of another
So now I am asked
to do the same
I finally have my
freedom and I am returned back into a pit
The prior awash in
anger; the current heartache
Trying to make
sense of the look in your eyes
Of what should
matter, what should not
Smashed into my
guts you were my person
I went through
hell to try to love you and became part devil to get out
I beat the
darkness and all I have to show for it is the love that helped me find myself
Does not want a
man she has never met
The most malicious
of ironies
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