Tommy Girl

So this thing with Tom Benson (the owner of the New Orleans Saints and Pelicans) is going down and I had this vision.  {Rita the granddaughter is suing her grandfather Tom for cutting her out of the will and being the new owner of the teams and is instead putting his new wife (not Rita's mother) as the post-death owner.} So here is the outline of kind of two ideas one involving the plot of Tommy Boy and the other involving the Pope.

Parallel the current lives of the rich and football geriatric of Tom Benson as Brian Dennehy marrying his Bo Derek in a scheme to get his money with Rita Benson playing Tommy Girl.  Somewhere should be the Ray Charles dance at the wedding and fat girl in a little dress.

So in this version Rita gets screwed to try to save “her money”, but instead of going where Tommy Boy goes before the death of poppy-Tom, Benson gets this idea through Gayle that Rita is no-good trying to oust her Cinderella step mother style but instead of giving Gayle all the money he goes with the Pope to save his soul for being a fucking billionaire who wants to get into heaven after deep reflection on a pile of money.  Maybe he can see a Jesus or Pope smear in his caviar or bird shit on the hood of his Mercedes. 

So Tom screws Gayle over too and in exchange for the Pope coming to New Orleans and being the new head coach or defensive coordinator for the Saints or maybe praying over Tom on his death bed. (I don’t know there are options)  Plenary Indulgence comes to mind.  Like the Pope would sit down and have a discussion with Tom (I guess the Pope would sort of be the Rob Lowe character) The point is somehow Benson croaks and the Archdiocese of New Orleans or the Catholic Church gets a billion and the team.  

The closing seen is parishioner’s kneeling paying for their season tickets in the collection basket at church in those little pre-printed envelopes or something like that.  Priests start wearing Saints gear.  Also that big sink that looks like you should piss in it in the Dome bathrooms should become a holy water font.  Touchdown Breesus.  There is material to be had.  I wish my vision to be made into a movie or skit or something.  I don’t care enough about Tom Benson and his life to write it, but I had this idea in my head and I thought I would put it out into the universe.