Accepting: there is no Cup

I need a drink of water

The water is everywhere

I need a breath of air

The air is everywhere

I want hours in your arms in your folds

The hope sits on a self in a storage unit

Stacked up furniture like a Tetris puzzle

Awaiting extraction, repositioning

Foolishly staring at patience as pertinent to an equation

As if the universe is fueled by mathematics

Praying for purpose in this darkness

Possibility in the absent lines

Feeling the presence behind presence

Pondering the ability to summon the strength to keep searching

Wondering what might happen if a lost body

Meditates still in the woods

Embracing the potential to never find or be found

By anything but the sound of silence

Washing in air, in water, the desolate energy of shedding self

The wanting for another body

To touch, to listen, to be heard, to see, to be witnessed

That after all the theft I am to give up this desire as well

So it is not the water that comes, but the thirst that shall go

So it is not the air that enters, but the lungs that shall be comfortably still

Acceptance of the stark pale chill of love pulsing only in the absolute

Released empty of all years of seeing what could be

In exchange accepting what is

Offering this illusion of control not in a marketplace of trade

But in donation, no tax deduction, no explanation

Just accepting place in the universe

Done fighting the current or attempting to drink from a cup that does not exist

To breathe with lungs that were never here, but to simply be