I want to indulge in
offering you words as if explaining aspects of what occurred could somehow
breach this layer of worry that beyond is nothing. That this sphere I am interacting with from
the inner to the external tapping like telescopic highways into the souls of
the other beings I share my eternal in this temporal reality with is
nothing. That I could feel you the way I
did and feel like my god the tidal wave and your reaction leading up to your
departure led me to believe in the magic that this was not all in my head that
a being I felt this far might actually reciprocate and offer the grail of
vulnerability I have only truly imagined to materialize like this did not have
to be a fleece chase.
I thought how do things
ever work out with anyone, how does the term equal investment come to pass,
that the grand signaled plague to run has been aspirated into the breathing space so that continuing is toxic to that all important gameswomanship of being in need of no
one.
I admit my faults and
garbage bags of tumult stored in the idea that I am trying to shed in this
conundrum that there is only so much even an enlightened man can grow out of
alone. I need love. I need a body to devour me so that some of
the scars don’t grow back. I need
a new body that tastes common
essence piloted in eternal self. Maybe we were lovers before and
will be again, but in this here and this now I am dying for you to awaken, that
these connections are not ant hills randomly packaged but meant to be startling
and daring and ripping open like a seed shattering the change
from orb speck into red wood. Somewhere in the dark forest I am watching for a sprout. Out there in that infinite possibility of
iterated universe there is a sapling breaching the mirth flourishing in the realization of what love and hope and faith, and honest
humanity nourish in the unknown of divine connections.
I pray the way a man with
the limited perspective of the human form offers to your flawed body that maybe you will choose
the sunlight. You will choose to develop
a trunk from this tender stitched on the fabric of your eternal canvas
undulating like atomic ballet imprinting a commandment to interconnect with the
all. This fire is pulsing in me and I
offer you to make me explode.
Reflex in foolishness storybook nonsense of love and veils, we can only choose.
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