Bring on the Moon

I am so hungry for something in my god damn life to matter

When is the happy?  When is the beyond the blip?

The false hope of the one-sided over reach

Seeing her breathe there knowing it is just a matter of time

Before she bites me like a lioness gorging on my manhood

Ripping at my gullet and gorging on my ribs until the bloody chunk is hers

I have given up trying to use this body; it always goes to the beasts

Feeling chancy like a wandering shadow

To dive to the inner and make me nothing

As soon as I got a few grains in the silo

I am so hungry for something in my god damn life to matter

Scrambling for a purpose like a parking spot anywhere near the planet

To rest in love’s grace but for rented time to sit inside the veil

As if when I looked in the mirror I knew each woman I met

Had the talents to find more meat on the bones to scarf

Crunched dust and brain stew

Want to head home from work today and drown in the depression

Just soak like a bath and let the numb takeover than feel the hope

Of wanting to try in this city, that house or this, moving again

With the signs and the wall paint, tear down the house build it again

As if the rotation made any difference, praying hope, and the hypocrisy

That I know if she called to me and said, “You’re right.  I’m sorry.  I want to try.”

I will have found faith in that trinity

Like the bellies of stars made relevant dancing, smiling, laughing

In the power of persistence, hope, and spiritual intuition

Yet the deadness cackles in the release wanting to weep in front of coworkers

Knowing I will have to avoid contact all day not to epitomize a carcass

Thinking about lunch with the boss is like a guillotine

Rather not look, or think, just pray again meditating knowing I only did it for love

All of this, this life, every step has been for love; there is no other reason

All the rest are machinations of the damned in a theater of the prideful gate

Letting boys and girls enter to morph into braying donkeys

Love is darkness; the hope in the broken heart like a time of cholera

Love is lightness the shine in the smile of the blessed like a time of harvest

I am so hungry for something in my god damn life to matter

Bring on the moon, this sun is so lonely tonight