Particle

I wish I could un-see this world

Human bodies appearing asexual, the chromosomes explode

Through visceral cells to where I question biological programing

I have become observant as evolution works within

Me and all the parading organisms

The status to desist to circumvent the typical organic-drives

With an unending tide-reversal of skepticism

Preoccupies my ego;

I am in numb-reverberation as a factory of electrons

Is each quark unique into itself

Obeying laws in its present place in space-time

In its current universe?

For it has been in others before this

And will be in others after

As part of the living and non-living

With no discernible distinguishing variable

Except for in the aggregate to create the illusion of such

So in, the matrix of breathers, photosynthesizes, chemosynthetic bacteria

On a hydrothermal vent etc. etc. waltz to the quark-beat

Time shifts as a metric of perception so that as death whispers into my ear

In this experience, the eons for the big-crunch of this universe

To the big-bang and unrolling entropy of an iteration that follows

Where at least one quark of what constitutes this genetic vehicle

I associate with my ego may be aggregated into another conscious-being

This distant trip will seem to be less than a yoctosecond

As we all have before in the interconnected one

Memory will be more useless than a graveyard or a golf course, a vagabond eternity

As I currently morn for what the quarks of gathered-me potentially use to know

The stages of the collective insurance comparing our few hundred-thousand years

To the planet’s millions, to this universe’s billions

As if the preponderance of species are not bred for extinction!

The infighting of a dominant cog on the food chain leads to the acceleration

Of its self-termination; the thirst for perseverance in the seesaw of individual and collective

To define the group, into ethnicity, religion, or class, (i.e. assets to lose, to associate common risk)

To decipher who and how to bond to form territorial armies funded with the fear-fueled obedience

Of others to put their individual continuance into a measure of the leader’s or the clan’s

To forgo ego for another’s selfishness

This is the paradigm economy of patriotism, the creation of godly ritualism, and celebrity

By associating another's luxury as an earned endowment rather than a kernel garnered

From the exploitation of the others is the masterstroke of sustainability for the mirage

So in, the quarks of the universe vibrate to oblivion shifting unconcerned with the plights

Of the asexual worker-ants and fly mating queens bombarding the colony with dread-pheromones

Mixing signals until the terrorist alerts are color-coded and pronounced casually with expectation

The ambrosia of fear is poured at bar-televisions and kitchen-tablet screens

Occasionally a mass of workers peers out with telescopes at the foibles repeating

Accelerating in search of a Higgs boson to answer why this circus of the savannah started

Continues and will lead to, as if to unveil purpose, ration and a flare shot into the night sky

Above the melee to pause the fray of antelopes being devoured by the lionesses

For if the herd had the script the theater may not play out as so

The minerals and balance disrupted more slowly before the expiration of our sun

As if humanity will ever last as such to see the eyelid of our system blink 

The event horizon will envelope the remainder of our remainder’s remainder

Long before any such institutionalized closing time for our leased planet

I wish I could un-see this world

There are no individuals, only pools of genes constructed of quarks

Operating based on a single premise of perpetuation

Altruism and group association expedites the avoidance of cessation

Calculating cross-cut mathematical definitions of identity

Into what is good for you is good for me, and also the inverse

So that thought becomes a convertible equation of energy and mass given velocity

Time and space are independent platforms; life is mostly illusion

A practicum of peeling layers of the ludicrous to logical dancing adaptations

To see the memes suggesting advantage in thought and genes in blood

Cloaking volition into the raw alone staring back at each being

Like the particle singularity before the bang appearing in a mirror