Thursday, September 3, 2015

20150830 The Day After

I do not have joy.  There is a lightness that is missing, has been for years.  It is not a person; it is not anything it is sentences I can hardly formed like a mutism frocked in threads of stutter to attempt to form the breaching decay of explaining the smiles I do have to mask the ones I do not.  Sometimes I see the type of laughter or rejoicing or feral unadulterated joy rampaging off lips so that teeth look like rapturous predators wolverines of ecstasy capable of devouring the pittance I can muster in a quarter of a lick.  The quick way as an amuse bouche to breakfast tempting morsel of a happiness vacuumed crumb like in the nook of a grin manifested hourly for tourist quotidian the way a professional furry costume of Goofy does at the mouse palace in Florida.  I can’t smile, not the way I want to, just released because I need you.  Whoever you are if you even exist I need you.  My battery has been left uncharged for too many years and I need to plug into the current I was intended.  It makes it worse that I felt like I met you and all of them just bask in the silent boundaries of me numb to wanting any of them because why, why would I want to embrace anyone who will only eat me alive, morsel by morsel grinning in joyous rapture ear to ear. 

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