I am given words to
inflate my ego. I spout them. I do not verify them. Either I do not pay attention to basic
political information like who wins the U.S. presidency and by how much in
recent history because that is how little a fuck I give about this job. I am supreme leader. Fuck you.
Shut up. You are worthless
liars. I am big. You are small.
Look, shit went down
with Russia. People around me were doing
shit. I don’t read or command jack. People just tell me shit. My filter is questionable. I really don’t like working this hard. Typically I get four blow jobs a day by six
different women. I am down to two and
Melania keeps getting out of her cage in the tower.
Bannon was up to
something. It worked. I pulled him into my Beltway. This fling with Vladdy Daddy is not going to
end well. You know it. He knows it.
I could bomb the fuck out of one of his little dinghies off the coast of
wherever the fuck someone tells me it is right now. I could push the button. It’s a fabulous button. I had Priebus put a big T on it. Do you want to see the button? Field trip let’s all go see the button.
I keep it in my toupee
closet with my S&M gear where Melania ties me up and feeds me caviar in a
suppository laced with opioids.
Classy. Big league Dungeon. Gold leaf choker. I got a cock ring with my
nickname for my dick on it, “Tangerine Torpedo.”
You Jew don’t ask a
bullshit hard-ball question. Ok sit
down. I am the least anti-Semitic and
racist person in the history of my pure blood line at least relative to
Republicans. I mean come on people you
can’t expect me not to be at least a little bit resentful about a Jew porking
my daughter. I hired Bannon. I mean get with it. You can’t hold me to Clinton rules. He had to make nice with the blacks. And Kenyan Obama, fuck well America had enough of
that. Did you see my numbers?
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
You token, what you got? CBC what the
fuck is that? Who? You must know them, because all black people
know each other. I know that because I
am quote, and I am president so I can quote myself about not being racist while
being racist, “the least racist person.”
So gather your blacks, gather your blacks for me.
Look I didn’t promise
anything about misogyny. Women are here
to serve me. Quiet. Clap, Clap.
Set up that meeting that they emailed me about in January but I ignored
because I was planning my golf weekend with the rich folk at my own Floridian
playground that the taxpayers pay to fly me and my entourage to stay. Sweet deal. Making a killing. I
sell a shit-ton of space so you can watch the Donald in action. Opulence I has it. Trump out.
Reality Show
Translation of actual Press Conference pieces were skipped but these were actual words used 20170216
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Well,
no, I was told—I was given that information. I don’t know. I was just given it.
We had a very, very big margin.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Well,
I don’t know. I was given that information. I was given—I’ve—actually, I’ve
seen that information around. But it was a very substantial victory. Do you
agree with that?
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Well,
the leaks are real. You’re the one that wrote about them and reported them. I
mean, the leaks are real. You know what they said. You saw it. And the leaks
are absolutely real. The news is fake, because so much of the news is fake. ...
I can handle a bad
story better than anybody, as long as it’s true. And, you know, over a course
of time, I’ll make mistakes, and you’ll write badly, and I’m OK with that. But
I’m not OK when it is fake. I mean, I watch CNN. It’s so much anger and
hatred and just the hatred.
JIM ACOSTA: You
said that the leaks are real, but the news is fake. I guess I don’t understand.
It seems that there’s a disconnect there. If the information coming from those
leaks is real, then how can the stories be fake?
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Well,
the reporting is fake. Look, look—
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Russia
is a ruse. ...
Are you a friendly
reporter? Watch how friendly he is. Wait, wait. Watch how friendly he is. Go
ahead.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: You
see, he said he was going to ask a very simple, easy question. And it’s not.
JAKE TURX: It’s
an important one.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: It’s
not. Not a simple question, not a fair question. OK, sit down. I understand the
rest of your question.
So here’s the story,
folks. Number one, I am the least anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in
your entire life. Number two, racism—the least racist person. In fact, we did
very well relative to other people running as a Republican.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Quiet,
quiet, quiet. See, he lied about—he was going to get up and ask a very
straight, simple question. So, you know, welcome to the world of the media. ...
APRIL RYAN: Well,
when you say—when you say the inner cities, are you going to—are you going to
include the CBC, Mr. President, in your conversations with your urban
agenda, your inner city agenda, as well as dealing—
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Am
I going include who?
APRIL RYAN: Are
you going to include the Congressional Black Caucus and the Congressional
Hispanic Caucus—
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Well,
I would.
APRIL RYAN: —as
well as on the—
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: I
tell you what—do you want to set up the meeting? Do you want to set up the
meeting?
APRIL RYAN: No,
no, no.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Are
they friends of yours?
APRIL RYAN: I’m
just a reporter.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: No,
get a—set up the meeting.
APRIL RYAN: I
know some of them, but I’m sure they’re watching right now.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Let’s
go. Set up a meeting.
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