Sunday, August 31, 2014

Anomaly Wreck and Rise

Accelerated past the mental pace
Anomaly asteroid phone calls change everything
Was going to be this way, now this space awakens possibility
Energy muster at the alarm to venture back to do

Was relaxed into the tension for what
Of disappointing the reviewer as if I had to entertain
Not what is requested, not what is required
Just an image of what do I want to do; so that will do

To have a plan; to have ideas on the raspy night
Voice exhausted from the work week lies
Screaming at the tender for a drink
The beer, the cocktail signs posted like an exquisite sip

Hints at the devil to come destroy it all
Kraken out the ocean and the sandcastles fall
The scale of the unpredictable weighing the unknown
To keep breathing when the air gets heavy

The arsenic in the acceleration; the metal in the blood
Keep cycling the intentions of what one thought was possible
Doubt lurks like a sledge, club a man for hoping
Face down in a sea of red

Squint eyes and inhale firm, state a name and take the turn
As it approaches searching for a sign
Feeling like we have spent too much time in sunlight

I want to slip into a shadow close eyes and be  

Ain’t no Sword

I never wanted to put that alpha male coat on for you
If you needed to see the beard and the gun with the thump
Push others down for me to stand up
Well sorry I do not perform circus acrobatics

To grab your attention; this, this in here, these thoughts
Are for me, not for you
So if that means I spend most of this life
Alienating people who might have gotten to know me

Well, I guess I am mangled
I tried at times to shimmy my ass, put on some semblance
Of face to ask, to converse and the distortion was palpable
The discord between love sick and confident inquiry

Left trails of non-response
The actresses stared blankly and stuck with the actors
The cheerleaders kept to the crowds
The smokers kept in the clouds

Fuck it, give me the pages; I’ll figure it out later
The post it notes and rollicking legal briefs
Stab wounds and rural streets
Bible bastions and baby dreams

Halloween here is my candy I don’t want a single piece
Easter here is your painted egg of soft boiled ick
Christmas here is your transformer fir and cookie sheet
Birthday here is your accolade I never did a thing

Showing up for what; was there a choice made?
Molded simulacrum in a blood bag umbilical noose
Spat out and watching what constitutes brave
The scent of bubble gum prompts nausea

Never asked, contemplating take back
The phony rank, hypocrisy smut, sugar addiction, cake-batter lust
Vomitus lacquer paint the eye shadow envy
Response like cardiac perdition; savior is late

Never going to say; ain’t that brave
Spoke and asked, but some ain’t that brave
Ashes burn the story cold ain’t no hero here to raise a sword
Just words, just words baby, that’s all I got 

The Bow of the Ancient Tree

Never wanted to enter a position of need
Addiction even as a crumb
Was avoided so that principles became heroin
An opiate long sense dulled

After the mercy of God dried bitter raisins
The wine, the grape flesh, the bacteria in the blackness
Saw the vineyard wither and the soil salted
Maintained allegiance until the silence became too loud

Mother said, “Do not put the cardboard down your throat.”
The boy choked
Saw the older sibling like Cain
Maybe the boy was able to die each day like an anorexic under control

Obey authority and see where that gets you
The ambivalence of who was in the line first for who actually passes the door
Sit at your desk and do not think that
The stockings of his fourth grade teacher made his penis feel as he looked at her in the pew

Study son, the books will light the catacombs
Sidelines lost in a mind of cartoons and squeaking restrooms
Writing pages on carpet wondering where the souls are
Toy box and pad locks changing for physical education uniforms

Drunk in a hot tub on prom night alone dressed in a pilsner suitcase
Couples inside thinking about flowers and dance steps
Wheels spinning and requisitioning orders for instructions for growing up
Never received in the eaves of trying not to be like Cain

Busted teeth and the lumber of hiding the speech
The attention tasted like cocaine to make a boy want to break his own legs
Crawled into the masochism like a fish knife to the gullet, three root canals in a day
Boy the boy could take pain

Needle to the palate, rub the numb, but spare the kryptonite paste
Prefer the sting over the scent of the common wish
The boy has found his rebellion of how he was not built to be like them
Frankenstein with a flipper

Amygdala on haywire the rubbing alcohol, the mint, the coffee, the chocolate
The bubble gum speech, the dancing, the pop, the canopy, the touch
The man was built to live in a desert
The sign says you want this; fuck you; I don’t

Hypocrisy like slitting a throat
Never a slip like attempting a musical note
Fear in the stitching of not wanting to admit there is no them
There is only this choice and time

That the litany of the bitter and the sweet
From coffee to chocolate, to the grind of posing for attention
To wear that shirt or sound off like that pop expert
Are mental excuses that it did not hurt

The boy wanted to play and no one came
Count on no one; only the self
Boo fucking hoo!
Get up

Decide what you wish to be and go be it
Decide what you wish to do and go do it

So it was and was done; written and sung
Dashed and crashed, raised and half-saved
Knowing alone is only so strong
There are some feats impossible to the solitary

So it is pliable principles are stronger than the absolute
The hurricane bows the ancient tree
So it is I come to you God in supplication

To guide and let this be 

Musing the Doe

Spent this life searching for my muse
Slipping in the sip 
The intellectual and sexual
In control and wanting to be taken

Understood in the nudity of thoughts
Daring an audience to bend past assumptions
The woman is a living dare
Inspiration like a fired wick

I am drawn in by the cogs of the clock
The hands dancing pointing at numbers
Lost in Latin rhythms converted from Germany
Hard beat in the shade, shock to the knees like thunder

Transposing the appearance of an entertainer
This is all for her; their looks are the refrain
Of a ballet of rebellion asserting, dangling
And how I imagine the inspiration

Hesitant to look because there is distance in it
This proximity of voice to voice
Behind the makeup and costumed grace
Do not want to approach too fast to spook the doe away

Dancing like an animus in the antlers
Dreaming alive like painted mist
Confliction and acceptance, desire and election
Wanting to see beyond the imaginary

The dichotomy of psychology and kinetic art
The spectrum thrills like lightning
Muse to write of where she finds her passions like flints

For where my thoughts may go 

Does Anyone Ever Try to Swim Across?

Circular in the slow wake, head hazed and day gazed 
At the length of patients rotating like talking-ghosts 
Who speak into vaulted ears sequestering secrets in a keeper more serious than black
So that days stack a library of restricted volumes 

Exiting a car for a watcher at the door, noting the mental cloud 
As a cushion in the lack of initiating a physical touchstone to begin the evening 
She walks around the passenger door in the absence inquiring about coffee 
He measures the space of that place he has so often been  

Where his body is standing, traversing and yet contemplating an equation 
Outside the present requiring a reset acquaintance
To be in the moment and not in the mind’s maze 
As Glasser breaks choices, thinking is labyrinth 

Feeling is a thermometer and doing is the catalyst for lightning to enliven growth 
Where are we going again; asked like a conifer descending its seed to soil 
In time where we were once before just a bit further on up the road beyond the levee 
To see rebel souls and search for the sustenance of New Orleans 

Ticket lager on credit like recognition of appreciating accountancy
In golden liquid circles recycling paths for fold-out thrones to purview the Mississippi
Serenaded by brass blown denizens of the night daring like immaculate vampires 
To show outside of comfortable zones of beginning before the bewitching hour

The orange sun sinks behind St. Louis Cathedral and a casino 
Where the gamblers parade and dancers convene 
Speaking of a cannabis cup overflowing for a place a body prohibits return 
Thinking of his brother leaping off a stairwell and speaking in tongues 

Years apart and the stories behind the stories we are telling and hinting 
Implications in what is and is not mentioned 
Like a remnant of Catholicism strangling self prohibitions inking his skin 
In the juxtaposition of atheist years struggling with the gravity 

Of objects adjusted by the pull of one distant passing the other 
Catapulting slings of every experience leading to this instant 
Placing this capsule and that as such to alter the outcome of eternity 
In forces behind the paradigm of conscious light 

Sparkling John Lennon and imaging the rebellion between a girl and her mother 
Of being told what might be if she only applied herself, underachieving tattled tale  
In a doppelganger career paired between science and art, listening and dancing 
In a two-sided war of the self 

Drinking in the silent sky above the banks like juiced nectar paired daily 
To permit a full meal of uninhibited volition and today she is indulging twice 
As if the very act to imbibe this moment is a measure of relinquishing control 
I ask her if she loves herself 

The personal like a pull-chain lamp from the sunset to the darkness on the edge 
Of a gargantuan oak enduring the electric lights of man 
She said she is scary; the tree wants the sanctuary of the night’s veil 
The aroma of what fear is wafts as if this bubble of potential affection  

Whispering into a room of requirement may fall to the realities sitting 
Like an army of clay soldiers behind doorways 
That if he sees the scars striped against their cheeks or from their swords he will run 
And that moment of vulnerability as if such departure would transfer 

From ambivalence to salted melancholy may have begun to already pass 
Lit like a wick sparking adrenaline as his foot presses the gas pedal 
In the roaring fervor of merging lanes she set a fire as Springsteen beckons 
Her music is plugged in past Antony and the Johnsons metric 

To measure where this is and may become as the buildings burn 
The night air piercing a mirage of Auburn next and week of a daughter’s encampment 
He has to see her 
And her body feels like a catalyst for lightning 

Battling a war of day and night seeking a time to let another in or not  
God banging at the gate all at once numb to the mosquito’s blood letting 
Skin so soft and his mind wanders to what monogamy means to him 
As sex licks the air like a feline arching her back purring 

For the touch of the night in firm hand bracing the nape 
The world sinks away off her feet to always see words behind his looks 
Golden shoes bricked in exposed skin for blooming petals calling one to live 
The painted bear crawls out of Houma’s hibernation to claim her place 

Intelligence beyond the jeopardy of her father’s trivial pursuits 
In an ACT score and what constitutes a woman defining who she is 
Beyond swamp or desert, river or a stage’s inherent mask 
Singing like a vocalized hope beyond the line 

That the glitter and the nudity costume the place others 
Are not allowed more so than any business suit
The intimacy of what he may see that others may not 
Disturbs her gravity of contemplating adjusting a path 

Of filled in days and nights, juggling the spectrum of two lives 
Encapsulated in twin naps and ten watches to keep the time 
Batteries exhausted and in between the lines of speaking in the river’s curve   
Boarding the freight of contemplating his eight to five 

He thinks maybe she is changing and that startled bit afraid 
Emotion like a root the priest and Edmond Dantes spot tunneling out the Chateau D’if 
Before the roof collapses and in the crush the Count of Monte Cristo becomes a possibility 
Willing to risk death in the bag of a dead man’s passage into the sea 

The sun beyond the stone, the bird in the unreachable window 
If only humans had wings and yet kisses in the moonlight are given to fly 
He knows neither has to know; just hold on and see where this goes 
If she is monster than maybe he is a monster too 

Waiting like her animus and his anima to settle the beauty and the beast

Unconsciously awakened contemplating release 

Old Drumroll


The heavy ready maybe steady
Going, coming, busting levees
Settled, battled, rattled cattle
Herding, mooing, alarmed, subduing

The mass melting in the bluest flame
Disguising the idea that there is a place to go
Armageddon on the airwaves; kitty is asking
Daddy makes up a lie rather than say no

Are we going to be all right? Is everything ok?
Shoot the line between the truth and a mistake
Sometimes there is a pressure the rainbow can’t take
The prism refracts the crowd into blindness

Gawk sheep with cannibal beaks
Pecking at the tattoos of war where the spirit leaks
This ink, this was me, at that time very much alive
A picture of a memory stamped on to defend the old drumroll

From forgetting the outline of empathy
As humans scurry in the corporate huddle
Firing bullets towards insurgents using kids as shields
Shot them both to help the world heal

Bodies floating in the flood as the dam breaks after the storm
Lightning struck mole hills from the thunder medicine from the mountain
Put the spotlight on the consolation while the host walks out back with the grand prize
Can you look a stock price in the eyes?

Busy suit and tan skin, slicked hair and demon grin
Petraeus totes the Bible with a psalm of righteousness on the wind
Damn the Koran and the despots America inserts to start the cartoons
Bodies burnt coming home to dust tombs

No atheists in foxholes or fox news,
Aircraft carriers with bush-leaguer festoons
World extinction on parade foretold

Prayers for what; story is old 

Monday, August 18, 2014

A Quarter to No

God my god I saw you dancing
I saw you dancing up on the hill

God my god I saw you dancing
I heard you strumming so I starting listening still

I did not move an inch, wrinkle a palm to tap the vein
I swore the dead were breathing right where I had scorned your name

Taken every molecule of every love I ever gave
Poured it into a well

Boiled it over into a steam bath
Scaled seven times a wrath set to indifference

You goaded me to call out again
I said this is not blindness, but a purpose in the dark

God my god I mouthed your name in front of others
Because I do not want to fall back there again

God my god I am facing that cold mirror stare
I see a naked universe of nothing

This is where you disappeared
I know the look; I know the fear

Please, help me find my way

Speak, before it is too late