Proust Questionnaire

 
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My partner after a full day, spent, silent with that look, and the deep breath turning the light out knowing this won’t be the last time.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Being eaten by Cookie Monster.  That goes way back.

3. Which historical figure do you identify with?
Soren Kierkegaard

4. Which living person do you most admire?
This guy in the Quarter I saw playing two trumpets at once while in perfect tune or Malala Yousafzai

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
When I feel like a cantankerous hermit writer cliché and want to drown in a bottle of cheap draught and say prost to my demons.  I also deplore that I used prost in a Proust questionnaire.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Passive aggressiveness, it’s feeble, indirect, and maddening to devotees of true debate

7. What is your greatest extravagance?
A Magic the Gathering card collection or my music collection

8. On what occasion do you lie?
Under oath when they pull the Bible out and I act like I am swearing to a God connecting to the book, because justice is not blind in America.  Other than that I am extremely principled.

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My busted mouth from an accident from when I was a kid.

10. When and where were you happiest?
Being a poet, I remember feelings like painted portraits.  The happiest I ever felt existed and then was marred, but never replicated.  So I’ll go with something else like when I sold my house after Katrina and I finally got to move on in life from living in other peoples’ house.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Be able to bullshit and not feel like a schmuck, I would probably relate to more people and have more fun than being so damn analytical.

12. If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?

I would take away my mom’s type one diabetes and give my dad hair.  My mom’s probably going to die from it and my dad seemed to want hair back in the day.  That and a life partner for me to pal around with who will laugh at my jokes.

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I am still standing.

14. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
A platypus

15. What is your most treasured possession?
A commemorative hockey puck my creative writing teacher gave me as class award in high school.  He died of cancer and was an awesome human.  Generally stuff is pretty irrelevant.

16. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Running parallel and never tangent to self-actualization living a boring damn life like Sisyphus rolling the boulder for eternity, but never realizing what you’re doing.

17. Who are your heroes in real life?
Dogs

18. What is it you most dislike?
Plastic grocery store commercial bullshit greed-lust sucking up saccharine homogenized life into a giant vat of the same in the name of consolidating the planet’s financial resources at the expense of everything that is worth a damn.

19. How would you like to die?
Old, at home through self-administered pharmacological suicide after having had time to say goodbye to my loved ones; that or instantly saving the life of someone I deeply care about.

20. What is your motto?
Life is a choice, love or fear; choose.