An apology to both of us

I am sorry for the words

There were too many

I spilt like flicked ash with black flecks

Scorched rolling papers

I should have kept the watch

The timing was intrusive like an obnoxious alarm

I should have asked if it was ok

I think I knew the answer and it wasn’t

I got caught up in the breakers, the undertow

Of hope like the tide was on a cycle other than the moon

Like I could lasso the Earth’s satellite

And feel this gravity between us as something

Commensurately greater

Imagining your dark side

Like I was the sun for a flash

And I could see everything

I apologize for guesswork dreams of who you were

Why we met and when the tide was scheduled to drift out

I saw the sea turtles crawling up from the sand

Multitudes of kindred shells dodging gulls from first breath

I wanted you to tell me every one of their names

As I read the lines on their shells like road maps

Of every bad thing I ever felt like the world was less hard

I am sorry for not slowing down

You saw the sunset and I kept spitting words like a dodo

I see how afraid I was and projected my fears onto you

Extinct and all I wish is I would have kept quiet

Held your hand and watched the sunset not saying a thing

While the light lasted